What I Live By
by katnipsc
Summary: Your family is threatened, and you are the threat. You are looking for answers, and he has them. A tale of two, united to work towards a common goal. A divergent inspired fic!(romitri)
1. chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

"Vanity is selfishness." She scolded , having caught me gawking at my reflection .She slid the panel over the mirror, locking it in place, blocking my view.

Our faction permits us to stand in front of it, on the second day of every third month.

"But just..."I croaked, trying to get her to listen, instead was interrupted quite rudely.

"No more, that's enough, put it in a bun. Get ready. I'll meet you at the hub. "She said pointing at my hair, heading towards the door. The finality of her statement marking the end of our conversation, as she left for the day's work.

Janine Hathaway, the representative of our faction at the council, the fiercest of abnegation leaders, and much to her disappointment, my mother.

Conversations between us have always been short and limited, and our relation strained. It has always been order and obedience, tip the balance and see her wrath descend upon yourself.

She prefers to remain as detached as possible and calls it selflessness, but, I know the truth, its nothing more than a facade, a pretense to uphold her respected image.

..0..

On stepping out of my block I realize that it would be a long time before I saw these pale surroundings again.

I look around, trying to commit it to memory .The resident blocks located to the south of the hub, an expanse of grey square blocks located at an equal distance from the other, each having a similar layout on the inside , and a grey pavement leading from one to the other. Small patches of finely mowed grass on occasion, dotting the bleak landscape.

Moving down the street, its hard to notice much difference between people's appearances, the females wear loose grey dresses, that hang around them shapelessly, with grey shoes, hair up in a tight bun. The males wear grey shirts, pants, shoes and maintain neatly trimmed hair, no longer than two centimeters. Such specifics, rules and decorum, seeing all of which I wondered,

'Where did their identities go?

Where did the individuality go?'

None of us have any belongings to call our own (every thing is reused, recycled and repaired), nothing special, no mementos, it is selfish, or so I was told.

But I take it differently.

As long as I dont deprive others of what is rightfully theirs, harm them, or cause them loss, what harm would me owning something cause them.

Little does anyone know that I love stones, I never understood why, but something about their variety intrigues me, attracts me, and thus I have a small collection of them, usually hidden beneath the third floor tile on the left hand corner under my bed, but today, they have been segregated into two pouches and kept in the inside pockets of my dress.

By the time I reach the bus stop, it is hard for me to control the frown that has started to appear on my face, as my neck hurts from the constant nodding.

Stopping and speaking is self-indulgent, a waste of time, whereas not acknowledging ones presence, rude, thus everyone sticks to the nodding thing and since mom is the leader, everyone knows her, indirectly, everyone knows me.

Janine Hathaway is the epitome of selflessness and dedication, being her daughter, I am expected to follow her footsteps, which I horribly fail at and she doesn't spare any opportunity to remind me of it.

I have been brought up with the idea that I have to be selfless, kind, devoted and caring. It has been drilled into me that I have to put others and their needs before mine. It is our unofficial motto an unstated protocol -

" _ **They come first."**_

We have been given rules to live by, but what I wonder is as to ,'why should it be so?'

' _Who made them so?'_

 _'Why should it be us?'_

 _'Why me?'_

 _'Why couldn't I just grow up to be me, my normal self?'_

In all honesty, Ive never thought that I was suited to be a part of abnegation., I am only a misfit, a disappointment, an alien here.

Unlike others I am bad at being selfless.

I like the feeling of my thick brown locks untied, I love to stare at the night-sky after working hours, I can hardly resist picking fights when insulted, I hate the voluntary services that I have to be a part of involuntarily, because I am Miss Hathaway .

I had once punched a dauntless girl, right on her nose, for she had called me a stiff, a pet name for all who belong to abnegation, when she had reported me, nobody had believed her, because we were supposed to care for others not send them to medical care . Nobody had seen me in action that day, except a boy, whom I never saw again.

Belonging to abnegation has its perks.

But, I am curious to adapt, to be the normal me, not the child of an abnegation leader, not a pretentious being, not the one incapable of defending own self.

I want to grow not only as member of my faction, but also a good human.

I've made my choice and, today at the choosing ceremony, others will know about my decision .

I am determined not to return to abnegation, not to return to my mother.

I am determined to know,

' _Why me?'_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 _Standing is something, I am well used to by now._

On my way to the hub, I stood all the way on the bus, because I gave my seat to man from Candor,( dressed in their standard black and white outfit, which probably signified their beliefs in truth or lie), who didn't even have the courtesy to thank me.

It is expected of us to be compassionate and caring. I never understand why, why only us?

Because we belong to Abnegation, is not a reason enough for me.

Not all Candors speak truth, all the time or favor justice, not all Erudites are as curious as they pretend to be, not all Abnegations are selfless and I happen to be on of those.

Amity, well that is an exceptional faction, all silly, merry and happiness!

Whereas, Dauntless are just unpredictable, free spirits, all adventurous and fun loving, living as they like, lucky souls.

..0..

Outside the hub, everyone proceeded methodically, in lines, and I had to allow them to move ahead, pretending to be indifferent, but it was situations like these that lead to comical situations which I loved.

"You go, I'll follow ."I said, gesturing a boy from Abnegation to proceed.

"Nope, you go, I'll be patiently waiting for my turn." He replied, appearing flustered.

"But you have been waiting for so long!" I stated, so very politely, with a small smile on my face.

"So have you." He countered, turning red.

"You look tired." I answered, insistently.

It was fun to mess with people sometimes, and right here was my victim.

"Ladies first." He stated.

Agreeing I proceeded to the hall, smiling and thanking him for his kindness.

It was a charade, that I had to maintain, for the sake of my mother.

According to her these conversations were a mere waste of time, an annoyance.

Not to me.

Evoking response from the people I conversed with, helped me know them, understand them . Each human was a walking mystery, mystery that I so wanted to solve, if not solve, atleast know .The one here, had his cheeks and ears turn somewhat red. It isn't hard for people around me to lose their calm. But, I have no idea about why it was so?

... 0...

I was on the stairs when I saw them, rolling or running and then jogging, they jumped from the moving train, giggling and laughing they made their way towards the main hall in the form of a crowd, roaring and thundering, making their presence known. Something about this wild attitude of theirs scared me but even filled me with excitement, an emotion unrealistic to my faction.

By the time I reached the main hall, I was panting and sweating. It was on the twentieth floor and I had to use the stairs.

Abnegation didn't use the elevators, thus facilitating the members of the other factions, it was one, among the multiple drawbacks of belonging to Abnegation.

Soon, after having taken my seat, I was requested to join the initiates on the square stage, beside the main podium.

Having nothing to do, I let my eyes wander around the hall, allowing the image of the surrounding and importance of the moment to sink in.

The main hall was huge, currently ,it was dimly lit, the chairs had been arranged to form a semi-circle while narrow passages between the seats marked the division between the faction, it appeared to resemble a coloor palette (or so I think it was called, Amity was the only faction to care for things such as arts) with six shades, namely Blue (for Erudite), red mixed with yellow and orange (for Amity), black and white (for Candor and Dauntless) and Grey (for Abnegation).

It was interesting to think of it as various parts of humanity separated only by small differences in beliefs, causing each to be different from the other, yet constituting a whole.

The sound of a clap echoing through the hall, broke me out of my reverie.

Looking for the source, my eyes landed on Eric Dragomir, the Amity leader. Clearing his throat he began-

"Welcome! Members of the fellow factions and the initiates, the choosing ceremony for the year is to commence soon and I request for your undivided attention."

As the hall became quiet, he continued.

"It was the war that had destroyed our world, costing us our peace, freedom, food, loved ones, land, in a nutshell, our life... "

I zoned out, having an idea of what he wanted to deliver. This wasnt the first initiation ceremony I was attending, but definitely the first where I was to make a choice.

The gist of the speech almost remained the same every year, only the speaker changed. It was different words, with the same meaning.

I was lost in my thoughts, until the first name among the initiates was announced and I kept a count of the number of initiates ,patiently waiting for my turn.

The procedure same for all, they were given a sterile knife and they had to slice their palms, or make cuts large enough to allow the blood to flow freely from it, which was dropped in the required bowl.

The ceremony was of great significance, it symbolized the ulterior motto of the faction system,

' _ **Faction before blood.'**_

After twenty two initiates, Mr. Dragomir finally called for me,

"Hathaway, Rosemarie." I was relieved and equally stunned. There was no going back now.

Making my way towards the podium, despite trying, I couldn't catch her eye, she was pointedly looking away, with a stoic expression on her face, she was avoiding me, I realized .


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3

Just once, can't she only be my mother and not Janine Hathaway, the abnegation leader.

All I longed for was an endearing glance, a slight smile but she gave me none. I was proud of who she was, but also I was angry at her behaviour, sad at her ignorance, and confused seeing her attitude.

Today, of all days, I had wished she'd be a bit different, but no.

Eric handed me the knife, as I made my way towards the centre of the stage, towards the table containing five big glass bowls.

Standing there, I let the gravity of the moment settle in.

My choice now would change my future, my life.

The first bowl consisted of water signifying Erudite- the faction that valued knowledge and learning above all, second bowl contained stones, signifying Abnegation-the faction that valued selflessness, according to them had people been more selfless the war would never have occurred .The third bowl contained soil, for Amity-the faction that believed in the fact that harmony and friendliness were the key to a successful and peaceful life, fourth bowl contained clear glass for Candor-the faction valued truth and honestly above all traits and the last bowl contained coal, signifying Dauntless - the faction of the fearless, which believed in action and decision ,to be the solution of troubles.

It was my chance to become my own person.

I had made my choice long ago. Placing the knife, dragging it across my palm making a deep cut ,I allowed the blood to ooze from the cut and pool in my palm, composing myself for a moment, I let it fall on the burning coal making it sizzle, finally letting others know of my decision..

A majority of the audience gasped, I was the first transfer initiate this year.

Soon, the murmurs were drowned by the cheers and hollers that welcomed me to my new faction. It was all smiles, laughs and greetings as I joined the dauntless.

They cared enough to express themselves, making me feel happy, and I allowed myself an indulgent smile.

Now I understood, why all said happiness was infectious, just being with the dauntless made me feel cheerful, excited and anxious, feelings that I was taught were selfish, but here it was natural.

Old habits die hard. I was waiting for everyone to leave when the ceremony got over, someone tugged onto my sleeve and then pulled me along, into the crowd as we ran down the stairs, cheering and yelling expressing our joy.

It felt good to give up all worries and be carefree for a while.

The sound of the approaching train attracted the crowd towards the railway tracks.

'Stage one of being a dauntless.'I thought, steeling myself for the challenge.

A grin spread across my face as I hauled myself onto the moving train.

"Hmm, I see the stiff made it." Commented someone as I sat catching my breath. Hearing the almost offensive term, I turned towards the source of the sound grimacing.

"And I see the duck speaks!" I retorted, making all the others around us snicker.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" He said, stretching his hand, out towards me.

It wasn't a gesture I was used to, but I had seen some others do it, it was called a handshake, for all I recalled. In abnegation I tried to avoid any bodily contact with others, since it made me uneasy.

Mom had almost drilled the words in my mind,

'Avoid all contact to avoid getting hurt.'

Tentatively, I put my hand in his and he released it after a small shake.

'Feat accomplished', stated my inner Rose contemplating over all that had just occurred,' it wasn't that bad' I concluded.

"I am Mason, Mason Ashford." said the boy with a smile.

He had red hair and a cute little freckeled face, he was slightly taller than me, but the fact that he had just apologized for his mistake, made him likable.

"I am Rosemarie Hathaway." I replied smiling.

He was a dauntless born initiate I concluded noticing his all black attire.

"So, do you have any idea what is gonna happen next?" I asked him as we sat down facing each other, on the floor of the compartment.

" Nope! They keep changing it every year" He replied, sighing. Following which stretched a silence, that was broken when the train started slowing down.

"Am I forgiven?" Mason asked sometime later.

"For what?" I asked cluelessly, following which we broke into laughter.

"Wait, let me check, the train is slowing down." I said excusing myself.

"They are jumping!" I informed, slightly panicked to see, what lay next.

"What! Already?" Spoke Mason, appearing genuinely surprised. All the initiates were soon on their feet, and joined several others who carried out the insane act.

"Do we really have to be this insane?" I questioned nervously.

"Hmmmm. We already are, thus our attendance!" He replied.

"Truly said." I agreed, smiling ( I was doing it a lot today).

"On three?" He suggested, noticing my sweaty palms and unsure gait.

"On three." I confirmed, and jumped. Air-borne for a second, we then hurled towards the rooftops.

Imitating Mason's pose, I landed safely ( and quiet elegantly for an initiate I assumed, relieved, slightly beaming at the achievement ).It took me moments to be back on my feet again, but I was glad that I could walk after that insane jump.

There was a dauntless man standing on the roof we landed on, looking around I noticed that some other rooves had a similar condition.

Before I could think any further, a loud voice interrupted my train of thoughts.

"Welcome initiates! I am Stan Alto, one of the dauntless leaders, I see that most of you have made it here, the next stage awaits you, so, follow me." He said, readying himself for the next move.

"What happened to those three?" Somebody from the crowd asked, referring to the initiate who couldn't catch the train and the two, who didn't jump off it.

"They are factionless now. Follow me, if you don't want to join them soon." Came the reply.


	4. chapter 4

It was amazing that we had covered more than three miles, parkouring across the ruined rooves of the buildings that now remained.

I guess we'll be doing a lot of it again, very soon. It was exhilarating and fun and I wouldn't regret feeling this free again. The jumps, the flips, the balance, the sprint all of it provided me with a sense of freedom and relief that I hadn't known before. It was refreshing.

Sports in general was something new to me, but I was enjoying parkouring. Being in abnegation, we had been told that sports resulted in a waste of energy and time, all that was required was a bit of exercising now and then, to maintain proper health and it was all that Abnegations indulged in.

Little exercising only made me antsy and, thus I found my relief in running, opting to do it often in my free time, covering the factionless residential areas, after sneaking out of the abnegation residential block. As a result of which I knew the place only too well for my mother's liking but I couldn't help it, it was among the most exciting things that I could do.

All the merriment came to a stop when we were faced with the next challenge, all it was, was a big dark opening on the roof of an old tall building, resembling nothing but a deep dark pit,because staring down in it we were met with nothing but a toneless black.

' _Wow! Dauntless are a weird bunch... And now I am a part of them so ,...we are a weird bunch... , so long they.. No..We.. pretended to be a band of howling, jumping monkeys and now here we are becoming jumping jacks.'_

I thought, the words dripping sarcasm.

"Hello! In.." Stan was about to continue when I interrupted him," parkouring monkeys!" in a hushed tone.

The group around me burst into a laughter but poor Stanny was unaware of what was going on. So far we had been too busy laughing, to pay any attention to his words.

"What's wrong with you initiates?"

He asked, fury lacing his words.

This snapped us to attention.

"What are you all snickering about?"

He continued.

"Celebrating the last probable moments of their lives."

Replied someone snarkily, with no attempt to hide themselves .

Glancing towards the general direction of the source of the voice , Stan dared them to repeat the words.

"What guarantee do we have that after doing this, we'll be alive?"

Came the answer, from a pale, lanky boy, with jet black hair, dressed in black and white, a Candor transfer initiate, who stepped into the forefront challenging Stan with a stare of the own.

"You don't, and if I were you, I'd treat the leader of the faction with more respect."

Replied Stan strictly before turning away and continuing.

"So any of you chickens have the guts to drop yourself down the hole?"

Nobody uttered a word or made a sound, the stillness agitated me and added to my nervousness.

The tension was thick in the air and Stan's sinister smile only grew, staring at us, as time passed.

Not being able to handle my nerves anymore, I donned on my mask of sarcasm, and stepped towards the edge of the hole..

"You'll be the one I'll haunt if I die, Stanny."

I told the leader before taking three steps back and then hurling myself into the unknown.

Instead of splattering my innnards across a probable coarse hard surface, I realized that I landed on a net, as the woven fibres threatened to cut into my skin, and all too soon, I tumbled down on something springy and spongy.

I was surprised but glad that I was alive, and took my own sweet time getting up, only to notice that I had completely overlooked the hand that had been stretched forward to probably help me up.

It belonged to a person who stood hidden in the darkness, and the surrounding was awfully quiet.

"What, no welcome? No cheers? I just survived that fall! Thats disappointing!"

I stated.

Following which sounded a chuckle, and then many, among them were some laughs as well as some whistles.There were many people in to shadows, I realized, only to be distracted by a movement, the man, stepped out of the shadow, and said,

"Hello, first jumper, I am Ivan Zeklos one of the dauntless leaders, and may we know who you are?"

"I am..."

I began, when he interrupted me,

whispering,

"Its your first and last chance at making an impression, so speak wisely."

"Rose."

I stated.

"only Rose?"

He enquired.

"Yes, only Rose."

I concluded firmly.

Taking one of my hands in his he raised it, announcing, and jesturing towards me

"First jumper- Rose! Beware her thorns everyone !"

And him joking around, set me at enough ease to demonstrate an exaggerated bow, that caused the crowd to start cheering and hollering around, with my name being tossed around very frequently among the ongoing conversations.

Being the first jumper had its perks and was a matter of honour among the dauntless, but one of its several drawbacks included, standing in the dark while the others gathered enough courage to complete the task at hand.

The task was mostly boring, except for some, that were hilarious, it included the lanky boy from candor, who had been scared enough to become pale like a ghost, and after landing on the net he froze and some dauntless members had to pry him away, while another girl with cropped blonde hair, from Amity screamed her lungs out even after having landed on the net, poor Ivan was having a hard time with the new initiates.

It was while the event was on, I noticed something change in the crowd, something was happening. When Ivan was informed, he signalled others, who left with a seriousness enough to convince me about the truth of my assumption.

The sudden movement of something or somebody behind me momentarily distracted me. It was a person leaving, with the mentioned group.

He was tall, really tall with hair longer than other men was the only thing that I could figure out in the darkness.

He had been so quiet and well hidden, that I hadn't even been aware of his presence until moments ago.


	5. chapter 5

As the unofficial ceremony came to an end, all the novices were led through a set of tunnels and narrow corridors by Ivan, until we hit yet another intersection.

It was here that he joined us. There was no mistake in recognizing him, the same great height, and now we could see a weird long dark brown almost black coat/jacket he wore.

"Dauntless-born initiates follow me, you, I don't think, would require the tour of the premises."

Stated Ivan with a chuckle.

"Hope some force saves you from the capable hands I am leaving you in initiates."

He concluded before departing.

"Transfer initiates please follow me this way."

The tall one said heading into another of the narrow corridors without waiting for anyone.

His words had a weird tone,not a bad one but certainly different from that of others an accent, is I think it was called.

We followed him quietly and it gave me some time to observe my surroundings, cement and rocks were what made up the entire building this far.

There were around fifteen of us, the transfers, and we were confused as he came to a stop at a door that read 'stairs'.

Turning around, he faced us and said,

"Initiates, I am Belikov, one of your leaders.

Welcome to Dauntless, but you aren't a part of the faction yet," he said cutting the chase and continued "because we look for and accept only the bravest and the best."

He didn't need to ask for silence, since his attitude, grave voice and intimidating gait were enough to command everyone's attention. Silence reigned.

" In order to be accepted in the faction, you'll be going through initiation. A training regime to bring out the best in you, and further strengthen it. "

He paused for a brief second as murmurs broke through the crowd, and the meaning of his words sank in.

" What a weird name! "

Said someone.

" Hush! You'll offend him. "

replied another voice.

" They lied. "

A voice accused.

" I want to return to my faction. "

Stated somebody.

It was a small corridor and it was impossible that he hadn't heard all that was being said but it was as he had pulled up a mask, hiding all his emotions behind it, since not a muscle of his face twitched, his expression remained calm but stoic as ever.

" You mean to say that we can still end up factionless after all this? "

A tall girl, with black hair, dressed in the attire of Candors finally spoke out loud, voicing the most common of our concerns.

"Yes, you can but.."

He was replying when someone interrupted him.

"Hey Belikov, I hear the first jumper is here on tour with you, mind if I greet her? "

Said a male. He had green eyes, very unlike mine and brownish tousled hair, he was tall but not taller than cov-man here.

And looking at aforementioned cov-man, I noticed that he probably didn't like the unkempt person much.

 _'Was it his unkempt and disheveled appearance that caused his aversion?_

 _Was it his Attitude? Was it Jealousy?'_

I wondered.

Without waiting for Belikov's reply, he made his way, only to stop in front of me and stretched his hands, that greeting yet again, I stretched out my hands, formally but it surprised me when he flipped my hands in his and brought it to his lips planting a light kiss on the back of my hand, after shaking it.

"I am Adrian young lady, it has been a pleasure meeting you...?? "

He smiled introducing himself, ending his sentence as a question.

"Rose..."

Was all I could say as I stood dumbstruck. His gesture had stunned me, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't something I was used to, his nonchalance and carefree attitude had surprised me and his actions had caused all the blood to rush to my face.

 _'Why did he do that? Was it common? Was it him only being friendly? Did I have to reciprocate his actions? I hope not? Why would he...?'_

My mind raced as I stood transfixed at the place too shocked to even speak, and he continued to stand with my hands in his.

"Ahhhmm."

Belikov cleared his throat, snapping me back to the present, as I suddenly withdrew my hand from Adrians.

Adrian' s smile only grew wider.

"Ahhhh, another stiff I see."

He commented, angering me, but cov-man beat me at chastising him.

"Its derogatory to abnegation initiates, I would request you, Mr. Ivashkov, to refrain from calling people names."

"As you say leader! Until then Belikov, Rose!"

Said Adrian bidding us goodbye.

The rest has remained eerily quiet throughout the exchange.

"Yes, you can end up factionless, but if you work hard through the initiation, you can save yourselves from the fate."

Stated Belikov, completing his previously interrupted words, benefiting from the silence and effectively breaking it.

I couldn't place my finger on it, but something in the stoic leaders form had faltered as he mentioned the factionless.

Turning around, he leaded us towards the door and through the stairs, that opened into a huge and fairly crowded corridor, rather an open area.

"This is the pit, your home for the next three months or more... That is the Chasm, he said pointing towards a huge water fall like structure...and that..."

He continued pointing out and naming , various corridors and structures along our way.

The place was old and most of it was roughly, half or fully constructed, despite which it was strong and well maintained, he mentioned.

Of all locations, what stuck in my mind was that of the gym.

The dauntless compound was a multi-leveled /multi-floored structure unlike abnegations and well spread out, the gym was on the second floor, there were three gyms and we had been instructed to report to gym 2 at eight,the next morning .

It was on the third floor that he left us in a huge room, furnished like a bunker, with several beds arranged in two neat rows .

"This is your temporary residence, the basic necessities are to be collected from the distribution counter on level five.More of your questions would be answered tomorrow morning.

I'll leave you all here, you have the rest of the day free, adjust yourselves and settle in, reporting time is 8 for tomorrow morning, gym 2."

He said leaving me.. us in the room to fend for ourselves and him leaving brought back all the discomfort that had been held at bay for so long.

 _'A new place. A new person. A new identity. A new faction.'_

The reality came crashing down upon me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm alive and back with another chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one. Let me know in the comments below. Hope you have a great day ahead!


	6. chapter 6

Collection of belongings from the counter though sounded something casual and easy, but when there were around thirty people all in different shapes and sizes waiting for their package to be arranged and presented to them, the process could be tedious.

Standing in line, it was Mason who distracted me from my thoughts.

"Hey Rose! Remember me!"

He said waving at me from the other end if the corridor.

"How can I forget some duck as fiery as you?"

I quipped, smiling.He had followed Ivan and had been away for not more than few hours.

He approached me, and I noticed that he had someone in tow. It was another of the Dauntless-born initiates, I guessed from his attire.

"Here, meet my best friend Edison Castille."

He said jesturing towards the boy, who had a stocky build and sandy blonde hair, with an expression on his face that said he should not be messed with!

"Rose."

I said introducing myself.

"Eddie."

He replied sincerely.

As time passed, I realised that Eddie, despite his appearance was outgoing and very sociable. It was clear how these two were friends as good as they were.

"Rose do you know that you are the first abnegation transfer in six years?"

Asked Eddie, sparking my curiosity.

It was far more than I had expected, who had been the last, the one just before me, I wondered but, before I could voice my question, someone shoved past me.

" Watch where you walk man! "

Said Eddie, speaking for me,before I could.

Listening to Eddie the boy turned back with a probable retort, but stopped short seeing something, he was the lanky pale candor who had spoken out to Stan.

Turning around, I noticed, it was a tall, slim woman, almost glaring at him from a distance , she had dark black hair made into a ponytail, she had something on her face, but even from afar, one could tell that she was beautiful ,it was as if her presence demanded attention.

"Looks like you are in trouble little brother, let me help."

Said a girl, stepping up from the side of the boy, she was a candor transfer as well.

"I am Christine and this is my brother Christian Ozera, I saw what happened here and I can assure you that it wasn't intentional, I hope that we can let it be and avoid further conflict."

She spoke confidently, there was something in her voice that instantly made me like her, the surity, the attitude, she might be fun to be around.

I was the first among our trio to speak.

" I am Rose, that's Mason and here is Eddie. "

I introduced, gesturing towards the respective person.

Christian didn't stay long, but Christine tagged along with us, I discovered a lot about the compound from her, according to her, her aunt was an Erudite from birth but then chose Dauntless, they idolized her and thus followed on her footsteps.

"Her name is Natasha, but she likes to be called Tasha, she was the one you saw earlier, Christians behaviour has been troubling her a bit."

Christine mentioned.

"She is quite well known for her ideas and skills here."

She added.

I kept on listening and taking in my surroundings , learning all that I could one, at a time.

Receiving the belongings Mason and Eddie went their way, and we headed to our dorms.It was only the evening , but I was tired.

For the time being the transferred novices and the dauntless initiates were bunked separately and according to me it was a momentary advantage that would be disadvantagious in the long run.

The action today was far more than what I was used to, and that is what I had chosen it to be.

On returning to the dorm, fishing out a t-shirt and pant from the provided pair of clothes , I realized that, while I had maintained my privacy in abnegation provided the fact that I had my own room, here we had no such privilege yet, and the initiates were expected to use the communal toilets.

A tap on my shoulder caused me to jump out of my skin.

"I see that you are already liking somethings around here, aren't you Rose?"

Asked Christine jokingly, wriggling her eyebrows, with her eyes darting to something behind me, as I turned to face her.

"What do you mean?"

I asked confused.

"He's Jessie I heard, not a bad choice."

She whispered, leaning in.

Understanding the implication of her words I became flustered, turning around to look at the mentioned boy, I saw him wink at me with a smirk on his face, as he pulled a shirt over his naked torso.

He had probably assumed the same thing Christine had.

Boy, they were so wrong.

All the time, while I had been pondering on the accomodations for the initiates, staring into the oblivion,I had been facing the boy,... Jessie who had been changing from his Erudite attire.

"No, I don't... I didn't... I was thinking about the accomodations here..."

I tried to explain as Christine burst out laughing, effectively confusing me even more in the process.

"What??... accomodations... Already??"

She spoke between laughs.

"No! Its not that. Not what you are thinking"

I stated failing at my try to sound firm.

It only made her laugh harder, and she returned to her bed, grinning and winking. She had already changed, unlike me, a state of her own or others undress, didn't fluster or embarrass her.

Hours passed as I waited for others to sleep, but to no avail, soon my patience ran out, and I made my way out of the dorm at night, looking for a secluded spot where I could comfortably change.

I had considered sleeping in my abnegation clothes,that smelled of detergents and lemons, but they were dusty, sweaty and reminded me of all I wanted to leave behind, so a change of clothes was in order.

It was then, on turning into a narrow dimly lit corridor that I saw him again, Belikov.

Something fluttered in me at his sight, but, not later all was crushed, when I noticed that he wasn't standing against the wall , rather he was probably holding someone between the wall and him, and soon the realization dawned upon me, he was not holding, he was kissing someone and she was none other than Tasha Ozera.


	7. chapter 7

A weird sensation on my arm jerked me awake, it was as if something was repeatedly moving up and down my left arm. Sitting immediately upright I came face to face with Jessie who was sitting on the edge of my bed, and he had a wide grin on his face, which soon turned into a laugh.

"What happened stiff, aren't you pleased to see my handsome face, the first thing in the morning?"

He asked, smirking, while the disgust was clearly plastered all over my face.

"No."

I answered, climbing out of my bed, heading away from the jerk.

 _'It was only creepy, I needed a shower, a cleansing.'_

But grabbing my hand he stopped me.

"I wouldn't say so, considering the way you were openly admiring me, yesterday."

He said, while I tried to free myself from his grip.

 _'Oh no! Not this!_ _Not again!'_

"That was a misunderstanding. I wasn't looking at you."

I tried to clarify , but he didn't let go, rather tightened his grip on my hand.

"Don't lie, you certainly..."

He was saying, when someone suddenly yanked my hand out of his grip, stepping between me and him.

"You certainly are a shame on Erudite, didn't they teach you mannerisms and behaviour there?"

She said.

It was Christine, the transfer from Candor.

 _'I am going to thank her, surely.'_

Jessie was fuming at being interrupted, and had only taken a step , pointing nastily at Christine, about to speak, when he was shoved back.

" What the hell"

He exclaimed.

"What is YOUR problem now?"

He spoke, directing his question to the boy who had shoved him.

"Maintain your distance, she is my sister and nobody is going to lay a finger on her, while I'm around."

The boy replied.

He was Christian, Christine's brother.

By now, a small circle of spectators had gathered around us. Two boys broke away from the mini crowd and convinced Jessie to return with them.

" Nice of you to know of a loosing fight when you see one."

Retorted Christine at the leaving trio, which made some around us laugh.

"That's all for today folks, come back some other day for more entertainment."

She continued, when the crowd surrounding us wasn't dissipating soon. It was almost as if they had expected a round two very soon.

I was glad for Christines company from there on, she had almost shadowed me around the place, blocked the washroom entrance while I changed, guided me through the confusing passages throughout the pit, while I recognized some from yesterday's trip, she knew shortcuts and it was helpful.

"You know, you can come and walk with us, why pretend to be non - existent ?"

I said stopping mid walk to the gym.

"What are you talking about? "

Asked a confused Christine.

"Christian has been following us throughout the morning ."

I replied sighing.

"You can come out from behind the pillar now."

I said to him.

An embarrassed Christian stepped out and headed towards us.

"Why have you been tailing us all morning bro?"

Asked Christine, curiously but casually.

"I was worried that the Erudites would come to trouble you again, after the humiliation this morning, I don't think that they'd sit quietly and not get back at you. Thus."

He replied seriously, his stance and expressions were proof of his genuine worry.

" Why not walk with us then, wouldn't it be better than being a stalker? "

" Alright. "

He commented joining us.

Entering the gym, my eyes landed directly on him, it was as if he was the centre of my attention, everywhere, all the time, my eyes only followed him, his movements.

" Hey Rose, what do you think they'll be teaching us, direct combat? Use of arms arms and ammunitions? Strategies?"

Asked an excited Christine.

"Calm down, its only the first day, I guess, they'll let us know about all the rules and what they want from us, and probably answer some questions."

I replied, feeling self consciousnes, as I headed towards the lockers. It was as if someone was keeping an eye on me, and I could almost feel their stare burning onto my back.

Ignoring my unease, I tried to pay attention to all that was being said.

It was Belikov, who was speaking, so it really wasn't hard to focus on him, but the intrusive moment from yesterday made me feel awkward, specifically since I was the intruder.

I was sad, and ashamed. I had no right to intrude the personal life of my mentor, nor did I have to feel disappointed, he owed me nothing and was his own person, and there was no reason why he wouldn't live his life for me, I was a no one.

I tried convincing myself, but couldn't really do so. The attraction was too strong, but I hoped that it would fade soon, knowing that he already had a girlfriend.

When the long session finally came to an end, everyone went about their ways, discussing, gossiping, giggling and talking as I hurriedly made my way to the cafeteria to finally eat something, I was starving and again, I bumped into somebody.

Christian was right behind me and caught the person, saving their fall.

"I am sorry, I am so very sorry, did I hurt you? I didn't mean to do it intentionally, it was an accident, I hope you are fine, it was my fault and I am so very sor..."

She was speaking frantically as she panicked , and I interrupted her.

" Not a word! I am sorry. I was in a hurry and didn't see you coming.I should be the one apologizing, not you. "

I stated, apologizing for my ill manners.

" Aren't you still abnegation at heart! "

" And, aren't you the politest Dauntless I've met?... "

Commented Christine, looking at both of us in turns, with an amused grin on her face.

" You two look like you belong to Amity! "

She added, and I noticed the girl slightly flinch, at the words.

She was pretty, with her platinum blonde hair, green eyes, and a slim figure.

" Hi, I'm Rose."

I introduced myself smiling.

And she returned the courtesy.

"I'm Lissa!"


	8. chapter 8

I woke to the sound of light footsteps, what peaked my interest was the fact that , it didn't belong to a person, but to that of a group of people, opening my eyes slightly, I was terrified at what I saw. Fighting against my basic instincts, I lay still, pretending to be asleep, as the people exited and their shadows faded from the entrance of the corridor.

... 0...

My second day on the Dauntless compound began quite uneventfully. I woke up earlier than most people, so that I could carry out the necessary daily activities without much trouble.

I was excited since today, in the second half of the training sessions, the Dauntless born initiates would accompany us in the training, which meant that I'd finally be able to meet Mason and Eddie again, the last day had tired me too much for socialising with people.

It was again the three of us, Christian, Christine and me, heading towards the gym in the morning. A trio, it felt as if we had entered an unspoken bond to be together and not that I was complaining, I enjoyed the company of the Ozeras, Christines chatter and Christians snark, helped me keep my mind off a certain someone who was the magnet of my attention .

The first half had been allotted to us, to train in the way, we felt comfortable , to get ourselves prepared for the second half, that included combat training and usage of ammunition.We had been given a quick introduction to a set of basic exercises, and were expected to catch up soon as the training proceeded.

It was here that we ran into Lissa again.

"Hello Rose."

She greeted.

"Morning."

I replied.

"Good morning..."

She was about to greet Christine when she was at a sudden loss of words.

"Uhhh.. Christine..."

Supplied Christine, happily introducing herself and enveloping Lissa in a hug.

Lissa only smiled, nodding slightly, as she shyly extended her hand towards Christian, expecting a shake.

"Good Morning, I am Lissa."

She said.

But the ever sullen Christian didn't return the courtesy.

"Christian."

He stated with a subtle nod, and walked away leaving the three of us alone.

If I wasn't mistaken the snarky boy appeared to be flushed with joy.

Christine, probably didn't see the things that I did, and she was happily chatting with Lisa, while exercising.

A particular moment struck me when the calm and pleasant Lissa turned flustered and mumbled, expressing her desire to end the topic.

"Hey, Lissa, how come I didn't see you among the transfer initiates on initiation day?"

Christine asked.

"Nope, I... I. was there. A.. Among them all, you must have missed me, amongst al.. all."

Replied Lissa.

"Rose, had you noticed her?"

Christine said, directing the question at me.

"Nope."

I stated, continuing observing Lissa.

"Oh, we must have missed it, but doesn't it seems weird, with the red, orange or the yellow dresses that you amity people dress in."

Said Christine, expressing her confusion.

"Why would you consider me to be a transfer and not a Dauntless born?

I never said I was a transfer. "

Asked Lissa, it appeared as if she was worried, lying or probably hiding something.

"Oh dear! Your politeness gave you away, Dauntless are rash and out spoken, members of team free will, if you say."

Replied Christine smiling.

"Oh!" exclaimed Lissa.

"Must be, so lets talk about something more exciting than me."

She continued.

By the time the first session came to an end, I was tired.

Together we went to the cafeteria to grab something to eat before the other session began. I had had my breakfast but now I was hungry, very hungry.

Grabbing an apple and a salad, I sat between Christine and Lissa, and soon tuned out, thinking about Lissa's behaviour, there seemed to be something off about her.

It was his lilted voice that brought me out of my reverie.

"Ms Dragov, may I have a word with you."

Lissa graciously accepted his request and followed him to a sparsely populated corner of the room and returned in a few minutes, he was nowhere to be seen anymore.

And all too soon a familiar voice made its way towards us.

"Hey, little fighter, haven't seen you in ages."

Said Adrian.

"It has only been a day Adrian, could you be any more dramatic?"

I asked, failing at my try to fake an annoyance.

"Nope, I was just stating the obvious, you know you like it little fighter, don't you?"

He replied smiling.

I simply nodded, denying the truth. Adrian was really funny, but being here for only a day, I could hardly determine who were my friends, or perhaps competitors.

" You have combat and ammunitions in the next half don't you? "

He asked, seeming excited all of a sudden.

"Yup, why?"

I concluded, breifly.

"Good to know that. I'll be there to help as well."

He added smiling wickedly.

"Seriously, what will you do among the leaders Adrian?

I inquired.

He simply shrugged not trying to answer at all.

As soon as the time for the break was up, we all made our way to the practice area/gym. I liked it there, the smell of the place was different a mixture of leather sweat perhaps even a bit metallic, nothing that I had ever come across before.

Adrian remained with us until Ivan came to talk to him.

"Ivashkov, mind joining me?"

He asked Adrian.

"Definitely not, but this company here is far better."

He replied blinking at me with a single eye.

I wondered what that was.

"That's called winking."

Somebody whispered in my ears.

Turning around I grinned widely seeing Mason, who had Eddie in tow.

"No need to be so confused, I saw your dilemma from across the room and came to your aid."

He stated, practically answering all the questions in my mind.

"My knight in a shining armour, aren't you?"

I stated sarcastically.

"What do you mean by that?"

He asked, staring at me blankly.

"There are things that you still have to learn, ducky."

I said grinning, and patting his head.That was a close save, I was glad that no erudite was around, they would have noticed the difference, or probably been curious about the reference. Nobody was aware of much about me, including the fact that I borrowed books from the library to read, sometimes I returned them, sometimes I didn't, and the erudites took the fall. There was something quite appealing about life in the old world, ideas of harmony, peace, coexistence and love.

"Initiates, form two files. Dauntless borns on one side and the transfers on the other."

Instructed Belicov. His voice alerted me as I proceeded according to the instructions.

He and Ivan then continued to show us some maneuvers while Adrian stood in the background, sometimes explaining and sometimes observing.

Once they were done, we were asked to practice on punching bags, and told to move on to one to one combat soon after.

Practicing felt weird, it made me aware of muscles that I didn't know existed, the stretches and exercises that had been done that morning , definitely proved to be of help.

Ivan and Adrian, surprisingly were the only ones who had come up to give pointers on my technique and stance, as I practiced on the punching bag. Adrian was proving to be the most helpful and I was greatful for his help.

"Keep your fist tight and let your thumb be like this, it'll protect the other fingers or help to prevent injuries."

"Here, angle your wrist in this way, it'll help when you come face to face with a taller opponent."

"Let you weight lie on your back foot before you proceed to attack."

Were some of the various pointers given by Adrian.

Belicov observed from afar, or so I assumed, but never spoke a word to me, occasionally helping other initiates, but not me.

I wondered why his presence bothered me so much. I couldn't understand why his actions mattered so much to me.

When the one to one combat sessions began, a transfer initiate was paired against a dauntless born initiate and, lucky for me my opponent was Mase.

I had never been in such a session before, I had sure hit people here and there, but here in this ring, I didn't have the element of surprise, I had had everywhere else.

As the combat continued I realised that I wasn't probably going to win and that Mason wasn't trying his hardest.

"Give it all redhead, I want an opponent not your pity."

I ordered between punches and blocks.

Slightly nodding Mason relaxed into the fight, and the fight continued.

I was glad when Ivan rang the bell, signaling the end of our fight. I was about to quit, to end the fight soon,but did not need to.

Each session was supposed to last for three minutes and mine felt like I had been fighting for ages, I had surely packed some punches , but it was guaranteed that Mason, hurt me more. He seemed to be aware of the fact.

"Don't be guilty! You did well. I'd just have to work a bit more and then I'll be wiping the floor with you."

I assured him grinning as we went to our respective sides of the gym.

"That wasn't very bad for a first try little fighter."

Adrian complimented me, coming to stand behind me, rather quietly.

I simply smiled in reply.

"Be attentive, you have ammunitions training next."

He stated almost giddy with excitement.

-o-

A longer chapter, celebrating the new year.

Wishing all my readers, a very very Happy New year!

Here's to hoping that you have an amazing year ahead!

Liked the chapter, loved the chapter, hated the chapter?

Please do let me know, hearing from you makes my day!

Until the next time!

-Katnipsc ;)


	9. chapter 9

To say that I was surprised, would be an understatement, as I saw Adrian work on ammunitions. He began with the introduction of various revolvers and rifles.

"This is J93." he said jesturing towards one of the guns,"and that one is Hl-25, some of my personal favourites, in this room. "

He disassembled and re-assembled some of them in record time, and then proceeded to tell us about their advantages and ways of handling.

"This is like a switch, just allow the movement of the clip and you can fix it. Make sure that you fix it right, before aiming for your target."

He said demonstrating, as if what he did was the easiest of all things.

"Its light, quiet, small, and an efficient one to keep handy."

He didn't look like the preaching kind, but the way he delivered his words of caution and the amusement behind his eyes while he talked more and more about his favourites, showed that he had a passionate and dedicated side that was well hidden somewhere behind his pretentiously annoying overall attitude.

Even this time Belikov was around,he seconded the training, it appeared as if he was some all rounder, yet luckily I didn't have to deal with him through the rest of the session, for Adrian was more helpful and supporting.

"Well done Rose! Only bummer is the fact that Mr Ozera there , beat you by thirteen seconds."

He congratulated me for I had assembled my ammunition as fast as possible.

"Focus on your aim, before you start firing, aim for one target at once and before all of it, take the guns you've assembled and try to get a feel of it in your hands."

He said before showing us how to shoot. Once everyone had tried atleast once he continued,

" now that you know the feeling, try to adapt yourselves to it, to the movement of the trigger, the click of the clip, the force exerted.

The faster you learn the better. "

Adrian was by far the most interactive in his sessions. He even went as far as cheering for people who shot anywhere near the target while shooting with a gun.

He clapped me on my back when I hit the bullseye.

" Well done little fighter!

Proves that I was right."

He added grinning with a quick wink in my direction.

As the session came to an end, I left the practice area but not before seeing the giant, scowl at Adrian making me wonder if his face was set like it.

Before returning to the room I decided to drop by the cafeteria and get something to eat. The day had unexpectedly drained most of my energy, for all I could think of was a quick nap before anything else.

I had hardly closed my eyes when a blaring siren caused me to jump up and nearly out of my skin.

 _No rest for the wicked._

Was the thought in my mind , as I got out of the bed and headed to the corridor with other confused initiates.

"Is it a drill?"

"Is it a joke?"

"Is there an emergency?"

"Oh what do they need now?"

Some of the very questions reeling through my mind were out in the open, waiting to be answered.

Noticing that no one was probably coming to our aid, I decided to track down Christian, Christine, Lissa, Mason and Eddie and gather some information about the occurrence, given the fact that none of them were around for they had decided to explore more of the pit.

Making my way, pushing through a crowd of confused and agitated Dauntless members and initiates, I only hoped that they weren't in any trouble.

"Hey, Rose... here."

I heard Mason calling as I turned around to find him and Eddie standing in a group of Dauntless-born initiates, looking no better than the confused crowd surrounding them.

"Do you have any idea about what is going on?"

They only shook their heads and shrugged answering in negative.

"Weren't you supposed to go with Christian and Christine and help them explore the pit?

I enquired.

" We did accompany them but according to Mr Snarky we were spoiling their fun by telling them which path lead where. He, in a very not - so-polite way asked us to leave, which we did."

It was Eddie who answed this time.

"Oh.I guess I'll just have to go and look for them ,then."

I said excusing myself from the duo.

Not ten minutes had passed since the ordeal had begun, when a voice announced in the system that it was a practice drill meant for all Dauntless members.

Weird. That is what it felt like.

Everyone was requested to move to the central corridor of the pit.

' _Nope.'_

Said my mind.

Two days with the Dauntless and I was already turning into a rebel.

Ducking into a narrow alley, I waited for the corridor to be empty, waiting to make an escape wishing that no one would notice my absence.

Five minutes passed as I waited still, hearing not a soul, I stepped out of my hiding spot only to rush back to it, as Belikov and some other leaders walked in, it was almost a group, heading somewhere in a hurry, amidst them was a pale figure I thought I recognized, but could not quite recall the familiarity.

Following my urge I tailed the group, until all students were permitted to return to their activities and the crowd flooded into the corridor causing me to lose the group, as they seemingly dissipated in the incoming wave of people.

By the time I returned to my bed, I was too anxious to sleep, I was curious, and agitated, my instincts were on alert. I pretended to be asleep to avoid any questions or suspicion or even any attention. I could almost feel as if something was up and we were caught in the middle of it.

Later that night I woke to the sound of light footsteps, what peaked my interest was the fact that , it didn't belong to a person, but to that of a group of people, opening my eyes slightly, I was terrified at what I saw. Fighting against my basic instincts, I lay still, pretending to be asleep, as the people exited and their shadows faded from the entrance of the corridor.

-O-

Hello everyone! Exams are now over so rest assured that the updates would be far more frequent. I heartily apologize for the delay in the update and hope that the upcoming chapter would make up for some of it.

I have a surprise for you in store. I am participating in the VA does Disney project sponsored by VAfiction. So keep an eye out for my piece, inspired by one of the Disney movies. Several more authors are participating in it and I'll keep you posted about it.

And yes I've now created a facebook page called , Angiesloveforbooks, so drop by for some interesting stuff related to my upcoming works.

Hope you have a great time ahead! :D

-katnipsc


	10. chapter 10

Seconds felt like hours, unable to wait anymore, I threw the covers aside, and made my way to the corridor, trying to tail the group.

Following my instincts, I approached step by careful step, to a corridoor, that had only one gate at the other end, the rest of it stood, narrow, cold and uninviting. It appeared that there were people, talking behind the door, for a faint murmuring was audible in the night which was otherwise deadly silent.

I had never been to this part of the pit, and it appeared fairly new compared to the other parts of the compound, I observed my surrounding, trying to find a way out, in case things went out of hand, the way out was the the sole passage that I had come through and it didn't exactly prove to be helpful.

Deciding to take a chance I moved forward, only to be yanked back, suddenly by my arm, a hand clamped on my mouth preventing me from crying out for help. I was dragged all the way to the main compound, kicking and struggling. I was scared for my life thinking that these were the people who had been in the bunker, but it was only one person here .

When I was finally released, I pushed my attacker and tried to run away, instead the man grabbed me, it appeared as if my push hadn't had any effect on him.

Finally noticing the face and appearance of the attacker, I realised that it was none other than Belikov. The fight left my body and I calmed in his presence.

"What are you doing outside the bunker at this hour of the night?" he questioned, with his accent being prominent in the last few words.

Thinking better of the situation, I decided not to tell him about the events of the night, for I had yet to trust him of all men in the faction.

" I lost my way in the compound and have been wandering for whole of the afternoon and a greater part of the night. Trying to get back to the bunker."I said, trying to channel as much of fake confidence as I probably could.

I stood unflinching under his scrutinizing gaze, with my hands on my hips, never backing down from being arrogant.

I knew that my reaction was probably over the top but it was the sole cover I had. I didn't know if Belikov, knew anything about the group, or was a part of it, thus keeping my mouth shut was the only option.

"Follow me." He said, leading me through a set of tunnels like passages, that opened in a broom closet near the bunker.

"There you go. I shouldn't find you loitering in the corridors after hours, novice. Consider it a warning and nobody is to be told about the passage, its only to be used during emergencies. "

He stated gruffly, before departing without a second glance my way.

Over years I had learnt to resist the harsh words from my mother, but only a few words from him had me feeling like a bratty kid, who was at fault.

The rest of the week passed quite uneventfully, despite which I remained on my toes, jumpy, and cautious but aware of my surroundings.

As the weekend approached, everyone seemed to loosen up, on the Saturday morning, the families of the initiates, visited and it wasn't a surprise when my mom didn't turn up. Janine Hathaway had her reputation to care for, why bother with an insolent daughter.

I left the central premises after waiting for an hour.

Having no place to be, I headed to the gym to get some practice, wondering why had I even hoped for her arrival. I was worthless to her, a mere annoyance , she would probably be happy to indulge in her work, now that she was finally rid of me.

The thought left me bitter and sad. I had seen other kids with their parents, happy and jovial, smiling, playing, enjoying their comfort, and couldn't fathom the reason for my mother's dislike.

People were averse to animals, a certain vegetable, a dish to eat, clothes to wear, some activities , but I was yet to see another mother averse to her child.

To my surprise and utter relief, the gym was deserted

Beginning with basic, stretches, I warmed up, practiced with some weight and then moved to combat techniques.

These, often drained me the most, tiring me in a very short span of time, nothing could I do to improve these however hard I tried.

"Humph", I gasped for breath between a set of eight double punches, wondering how others used this in actual combat.

"Your execution is incorrect. "A voice surprised me.

Following it I discovered that its source was none other than Belikov.

"Elaborate. " I said, shrugging casually, not minding the fact that I was talking to one of the most respected Dauntless leaders.

I had last seen him two days ago in the class, he had surprisingly been missing from the rest, unlike the various tales about him. The Dauntless called him a God. He had a great and spotless reputation, I had come to learn.

Depositing his gym bag at the corner of the gym, he came to stand beside me, somewhat resembling the stance that I had been practicing in.

"This was fine, "he said motioning towards his feet, "but this begins from here" he said, making a fist and placing it close to his body, at his waist.

"And you need to retract your attack fully, in order to prevent injury. Sloppiness, here can be painful." He added, repeating his previous movement, showing me once again.

Nodding in understanding, I tried to copy his stance and method. I tried my best, but the way he observed my actions , made me feel like the novice I was.

" You need to save your energy, don't use brute force, use your agility and size to your advantage against the opponent." He supplied, as I continued working on my own.

A few minutes later he headed to the other side of the gym to continue with his own training, it was hard not to stare, but I tried my best.

Half an hour later, we took a water break and then I returned to the practice, but he didn't, he sat on the gym floor observing me as I tried hard to ignore the feel of his stare on my back.

I hesitated for a moment as he practically manifested beside me, silent as a ghost and analysed my moves under his practical gaze. It was when he lightly pressed his fingers on my wrist as my punch hit the bag, and tilted it, correcting the angle.

"If you hit like that , you risk hurting yourself more that your opponent." He commented.

His fingers had been in contact of my skin for only a while but I could almost still feel his touch where it had been moments ago.

"You need to use your elbows and knees more, since you don't have much muscle. Work on your technique not with your mass." He added before leaving to continue with whatever he was practicing.

My actions since then were not really focused, his mere action had muddled my thinking and I soon left the gym, wishing to gather my thoughts and gain clarity.

-o-

Another chapter over. Any guesses about what happened that night?

'A Wish Upon the stars', is up on my page now!

And don't forget check out my fb page for some interesting stuff and source of my inspiration for the story :

https m dot facebook dot com /Angiesloveforbooks /

Have an amazing time ahead!


	11. chapter 11

I had spent three hours at the gym and couldn't seem to accept it, but the toll it took on my body was quite evident when I fell asleep in the middle of the day.

I woke to Christine and Christian arguing in hushed tones, it was probably meant to be something personal I guessed , but on eavesdropping I realized that they were talking about me.

"No need to disturb her lets go."He said.

"Nope, let's just ask her this once." She countered.

"What if you scare her?"

"What if she agrees and you look like a fool?"

"But abnegations have never been the bravest of souls!" His words stung but Christine's reply was enough for now.

"She is Dauntless now, just like us."

"Fine! Do as you please." Christian finally snapped, leaving a scowling Christine behind ,who, turned, sat on the edge of my bed, composed herself and nudged me careful as not to probably scare me.

"Rose! Rose! Rise and shine girl! I've got something interesting for ya!"

Pretending to wake up from a deep slumber, I attempted being groggy, rubbed me eyes, yawned and finally settled for a confused look.

By the time I focused on Christine, she was on the verge of laughing out loud.

" Do you know that you look so cute when you do that?"

My answering shrug was enough for her to have her laughing on my bed, clutching her stomach.

By the time she calmed down my patience wore thin as to what the news was, but I kept my mouth shut waiting for her to continue.

" We are going to get tattoos, its common for Dauntless as you may have seen, so see this as our little welcome ceremony and I was hoping that you'll come." She concluded in a breath.

I didn't know what shocked me more, Christine's politeness or her request.

A second or two later she shook me vigorously, questioning if I was in shock!

" Okay. " I said

" You will? "

Her surprised screech had me wishing I could hear less or was atleast at a distance from the souce.

"But that doesn't mean I'll get a tatoo." I added hesitatingly.

"Fine by me, lets go! You have ten minutes!" she said grinning wide.

The tatoo area, was located above the assembly halls of the pit, needless to say that it was far bigger than I had expected it to be.

By the time we arrived, Mason and Eddie were already halfway through getting their tattoos, Mason's was a flame in black and orange, the piece covered almost half of his right hand, from the wrist to the elbow and it was the first time, I felt inclined to give this decision of mine a second thought, but my fear was stronger, and quickly smothered the flicker of any and all hopes of getting a tattoo, it was too permanent, too bold for me.

Eddie chose the motto ' _faction before blood'_ to be on his left inner arm.

Christian surprised me when he decided to have a circle made on his left shoulder. The circle was made in black appearing as if it has been painted on the skin using a paintbrush, it wasn't a closed shape, just a close one, the artist at the parlour called the tatoo an enso, stating that it had a symbolic meaning.

Whereas Christina had a branch of leaves, appearing to twine around her arms, from her right shoulder to right elbow.

Each tattoo was beautiful, and unique, a piece of art, a bit of color here and there, a thoughtful pattern, a symbolic meaning, to add to their appearance.

All pretended as if it didn't matter , but given their practicality and thoughtfulness at the moment it appeared as if a piece of their being was being put on their skin for display. I wanted to applaud their courage, for I was too much of a coward to do anything of the sort.

The thought that struck me next almost shocked me. It was always said that only Amity cared for something as silly as art, but here were the Dauntless embracing it in full swing, calling it a dare, perhaps a challenge or an act of their bravery. The people who worked here were artists, and good ones, I wonder if any of them realised it.

DPOV

"Ivan, we need to let her know. It isn't safe for her, given the fact that we don't know what they want or who on the inside is associated with them."

"So we find out, Dimka .Informing her will only cause panic, you've seen how she is. For now the people surrounding her can be trusted, I've collected data on them and it seems to be just fine. "

"But we need to dig deeper Ivan, we need to find out, before they can get to her.

You saw what happened to Euryce."

"I wonder how they found out about him. Even I wasn't aware of him. How many of them are there this time?"

"Till yet I've almost found four, its been her, Mason, Johanna and one, that I still am not sure about, apart from the old ones."

"Has Adrian been in touch?"

"Yes, Ivashkov knows about all of it, he is the one who found Euryce."I concluded sighing.

The previous week had been getting onto my nerves, too much was happening and all to soon, it seemed as if things were reeling out of my control.

"How's it going with Tasha?" Ivan asked.

His question causing me to slump back on my chair, as the last week came flooding back to me.

"She threw herself at me, while we were on patrol duty, the last week. I tried pushing he away but she just wouldn't give up." I replied sighing .

She had almost been desperate, enough as to not notice the person who had almost walked in upon us. I had heard their soft retreating footsteps, but had not been able to see them.

"The woman doesn't like ' _no_ ' for an answer Dimka, and that's all you are offering her." Ivan said, pity evident in his features.

"I've been honest to her about my feelings towards her, it had hurt her but she isn't willing to let me go and I don't know what to do Ivan."I added.

The silence that followed was not uncommon to us, we just needed some time, some quiet to come up with a solution, just this time instead of plotting and planning, I fell asleep and Ivan didn't disturb.

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So people did you like the surprise DPOV?

Do let me know about what you think, any queries or probably suggestions for the scenes you would like to see.

Until the next update!

Have a great time ahead!

-Katnipsc :)


	12. chapter 12

APOV

Art was fun, so was being a rebel but no one needed to know that.

I had so many things to do, I wondered what needed to be prioritized, but discarding the confusion I decided to continue with what I was doing.

I had been outside the walls, seen the older buildings the crumbled remains, remains of the old culture and traditions. It was heart warming and inspiring an event,yet another of the things that need not be disclosed.

So I had decided to revive some of the older practices in my own way,which brought me to my current activity. Graphiti art, is what I believed it was called. The information required some digging but was worth it.

I felt my stress dissipate, as the paint from the bottle gradually marked the bare walls of the older section of the compound making it different and interesting. Just the way I liked.

My work had been discovered by an initiate a few years ago, but she didn't know it was mine, surprisingly around a month later I had caught her indulging in the same activity and now almost three years later, Graphiti was just a mild form of rebellion among initiates and I was proud of be its instigator.

Some Dauntless lived for the thrill of breaking laws, for the rush of an adventure, the excitement and curiosity to test the limits, were what drove them and, the fact that made me like this faction so much.

Once done, I pretended to get back to my supposed job that was to pretend vandalism of the property, for the leaders had litte to no patience when it came to major loss.

When the mop of dark brown hair in the far corner, almost hidden, in a completely secluded part from the main compound caught my eyes, I followed it.

I wasn't disappointed to find Rose but was surprised to see that she wasn't alone, moreover Lissa was with her too, and the pair was accompanied by the Ozeras and the troublesome duo of Eddie and Mason.

For all I could guess, Mason was developing a thing for Rose and the girl was completely unaware of it.It was evident in the way he looked at her with the puppy dog eyes, and his protective stace around her. His behaviour screamed affection.

But hell, she was unaware of her beauty and the effect her mere presence had on others . I couldn't help but admire when it came to her charm, even Ivan was unable to resist admiring her, but little did she know about it, little did she realize how easy it would be for her to get her way with people once she put that talent and pretty face of hers to use.

 _'Definitely a person to have in our league,'_

Supplied my mind, but that could be thought of later.

I was closely shadowing the group, because Lissa was here, when she wasn't meant to be, as, neither was I, but she better be in the dark about the fact, I'd have to inform Belicov that his charge was more careless than he had imagined.

The group indulged in banter and even added some graphiti to the heavyly decorated wall, they hung around and talked some more, seeing the nothing was truly happening the group started breaking into pairs.

I called Belikov, by the time we were done with the briefing I realized that Belikov way almost half the way through and only Lissa and Rose were in my view, a few meters ahead only people in the area.

Everything was fine until a round object with a small glowing bulb was dropped in front of the girls. It was as if almost instinctually Rose saved Lissa, stepping in front of her and shoving her aside.

I knew what the device was, reaching out instantly I grabbed Lissa, but was too late to reach for Rose, as she dropped all limp onto the ground with a loud thump.

DPOV

Brown eyes gazed at me and I could feel the stare on my skin, they had this depth, the depth that made me want to stare in them forever. To lose myself in them, the eyes that appeared as if they were directly peering into my soul.

I had never thought that I'd see her again,but here she was, it was as if my fate was mocking me, throwing things from my past right in my face.

The same long thick locks, the same entrancing stare, the beautiful, innocent face, and the spark in her eyes.

She was my violent abnegate.

The girl who hadn't backed down from defending what was right even years ago as she had punched the Dauntless girl to prove her point and surprisingly gotten away.

And she was sauntering upto me with a wicked smile on her face. We were in the pit, by the chasm as she stepped on the lower rails of the bannister and hoisted herself up so she was at the level of my eyes.

I was afraid that she'd fall, afraid that I won't get to talk to her, but I held my breathe as she leaned in, her hands tangled in my hair sending shivers down my spine and she spoke in a low voice, ' _What are you w...'_

And all too suddenly I woke up, with my heart racing and hammering in my chest.

Looking up at the clock on the drawer beside I noticed that I had merely slept for four hours and had been relieved from my shift only four and a half hours ago. After tossing and turning in my bed, trying to sleep for a good fiteen minutes, I gave up, pulled on my shirt, the black pants, my duster and headed outside, to get some fresh air.

I was at the central ground when Adrian called informing me about my charges venture and I quickly made my way towards the older compound.

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The next update will be the day after tomorrow.

Do let me know of what tou think happened or will happen.

Until then, have a great time ahead!

-Katnipsc :)


	13. chapter 13

As the second day of the weekend rolled around, I slept in. After a rather comforting and peaceful sleep in a long time, I woke to see a scowling Christine pacing in the semi crowded dorm.

"What happened woman?

Seems like someone's not in a great mood this morning.

Please tell me you aren't hung over. "I pleaded almost whining.

According to Christian, both drunk as well as hung over Christine could be a force to reckon with, or just a pain to handle.Given the fact that she was always a handful on the day to day basis.

My words, caused her to stop pacing as she slumped down on my bed, beside me.

"I want to experiment." She answered, a bit of both excitement , and conflict evident in her tone.

"Experiment with what?"I pried.

The smile that graced her features made me wary.

 _'This is definitely not going to be good.'_ Warned my inner self.

"My appearance."She replied, as I visibly relaxed and sunk into the soft covers.

"What's troubles you then?"

"I don't wanna go alone, but Christian resufed to accompany me and said that I looked cute the way I was , and then we had a sibling quarrel and he simply walked away. Will you go with me? Please? "

Her face expressed the various emotions she shifted though finally settling for hope and an adorable duck like face.

I wondered if I had any plans for the day, besides a few hours of training, I had nothing to do, so fifteen minutes later, we found ourselves walking down several corridors and halls, returning to the place where we had collected our basic necessities on our arrival, the very first day .

"Ooooh! I want that."Exclaimed Chistine, pointing at a dress, almost jumping up and down, where she stood.

"I'm right behind you! Go ahead." I promted, as she happily went through attire after attire and dress after dress, all in black.

Half an hour later, Lissa joined us, I raised my eyebrows in curiosity.

"I'm looking for something cute but classy, so decided to drop by. What are your plans?" She said, addressing the question to me, for Christine was far too excited to pay much attention to the exchange.

"Christine wanted to ' _experiment'_ " in air quotes, "with her appearance, so I'm accompanying her, just that. See how pleased she is!" I replied, gesturing towards, Christine.

Once she was done, we decided to wait and help Lissa, followed by which Lissa lead us to a self care fascility, which Christine almost went crazy over.

" I didn't know they had one here. "She remarked, genuinely surprised.

Lissa just led us in with a small smile tugged on lips. Both the girls, had haircuts, Christine, looked appealing, whereas Lissa, looked like her angelic self, they even bought various paints, and pigments. Somewhere the abnegate in my mind was panicking, at the frivolity, as I tried hard to maintain my composture.

"Won't you be low on your points after all the expenditure?" I finally asked unable to help my unsettled self.

Points were like general currency of the Dauntless, each initiate was alloted a fixed amout at the beginning of every week, and we had been told that we wouldn't be allowed to deal in currency until we were officially a part of the faction.

Lissa only shrugged in response, while Christine answered smugly, "I borrowed some from Christian."

By the time we left the fascility it was almost evening, I bid the girls goodbye and headed for practice. Hours later, joined the gang at the communal hall for dinner where Mason and Christine were excited about some activity that they wished to part take in that night.

"Will you be there?" Eddie asked me.

My replywas a single word, " uncertain", looking confused.

But today, for the first time, Lissa sat with us, completely at ease and went as far as to agree to join us that night, so I gave in for her.

Three hours later, the gang met at the old ground and from there we headed towards the desired location and I was surprised to see that I hadn't been to that part of the compound yet.

It was old, a part had crumbled, some of the walls had vines creeping up while most of the rest had been covered in art work, consisting of a variety of patterns, from odd symbols to huge colourful words and scenery, some were beautiful, some crude a few rude and so on.

The guys kept up with the flow of the conversation while, I observed my surroundings . I couldn't help but feel as if someone was keeping an eye on us, somebody was following us and the feeling had persisted eversince we had left our bunker/dorm room.

I tried my best to prevent my paranoia from ruining the moment, but it helped me notice some things, things that the others had been missing and couldn't help but smile at my discovery.

Once we were done participating in the event of the night that turned out to be the art of graphitti, I grabbed Lissa's hand urging her to stay as the group seemingly dispersed.

"Hey Liss, do you want to tell me something?"I questioned seriously, trying to mess with her.

She appeared stunned for a moment, but then I saw her decide on an answer but before she could state it, I shoved her out of the way.

A figure we hadn't noticed so long , made its stealthy appearance from behind the nearby wall, tossed a black round flickering object at us and ran away on noticing my presence.

I acted instinctually saving Lissa, but forgot about self preservation.The beeping from the object gradually increased and I felt the surrounding swirl, my vision blur, my body shut down and darkness engulf the world around me.

DPOV

I was at the far end of the compound when I noticed, Rose roughly push Lissa away. Deeming something wrong, my feet picked up pace and I rushed towards the scene only to reach in time, to see Lissa and Adrian stand shocked and Rose, unceremoniously drop to the ground.

The sight caused something in me to snap, not paying any heed to the outcome, or cause, I hurried towards Rose, frantically checking her for injuries, an unknown terror gripped me, as I fought not to lose control of my emotions, it had only been a week since she had been here, a week and she was already in trouble, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Noticing the black object, lying at a distance, its purpose fulfilled, I tried to get Rose to respond but was unsuccessful, thus picked her up and hurried to some place safe hoping that she would recover for she couldn't be gone.

The deemed safe haven turned out to be my room, Adrian and Lissa followed me, and Ivan was informed and requested to meet us in my room.

I gently lay her on the bed, and sprinkled some water on her face, waiting for anything a sign, a twitch but nothing happened.

Adrian had had the mind to pick up the offensive device and left Lissa under Ivan's care in order to examine it, whereas all I could do in the meanwhile was sit down on the floor beside her bed, with a fuzzy mind and conflicted emotions.

On one hand I was ashamed to have failed my charge and put her at risk, had I been there Rose wouldn't have been in that condition, and Lissa wouldn't have been scared, whereas on the other hand I couldn't process all the emotions that I had begun feeling for this abnegate, I was ashamed of having lost control earlier, I was scared to know that she already had an effect on me , a control on my mind and one could use her to get me.

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Haha! Let me know of what you feel!

 **The next update will be on Saturday!**

Until then have a great time ahead! :)


	14. chapter 14

I woke up gasping for breathe, my head pounding. Most events of the previous night were hazy, jumbled unclear, all I remembered was, sinking into the endless black.

My vision took a few seconds to re-gain its clarity, all I could see was an almost dark room, a bit of struggle and I was free from the enormous piece of cloth that had been covering me.

Trying to sit up I noticed a grip on my hand, my mind spinning several probable scenarios that might have caused me to have end up here and none seemed promising.

The figure, though sitting on the floor, seemed to be deep in slumber and from their firm grip I estimated that it would be hard to get away for me. I couldn't recall how I came here and my mind screamed trouble.

Had I been kidnapped?

Was I drunk?

Had I been drugged?

Each thought adding to my panic.

Taking a deep but slow breathe trying to calm myself, I tried gaining control over my motions and emotions.

The cot I was on, was near the wall thus my free hand found nothing but a book when searching for an excuse of a weapon.

Deciding that it was better than nothing, I gripped it tight in one hand while the other made futile attempts of unnoticed escape.

Jostling a bit too much caused this person on guard to wake, hardly had he looked up when I made my desperate attempt at escape, doing the sole thing my mind could come up with.

Without waiting for an explanation I hit the person repeatedly with the book I had, only to achieve a momentary win as he released my hand, snatched the book and simultaneously flicked the lights on.

I hadn't decided to wait, made a dash for the door which was hardly steps away, when strong arms pulled me back, lightly shoving me on the bed, I couldn't help but gasp on seeing who my captor was.

It was Belikov.

It took me moments to notice that he looked even better with his hair untied. Not wanting him to realize that he had any effect on me, I looked away, pointedly staring at any and all places, except him.

He took a step towards me and I jumped back, seeing my behaviour he immediately receded.

Moments later, his hands reached out to me, and I shrinked further back into the covers. This wasn't right.

Little did I notice the cause of his movements.

"It's only water, I promise."He said, lightly placing a bottle of transparent liquid in front of me.

My sole response were the questions that had been badgering me eversince I had woken up minutes ago, that seemed to have occurred ages ago, "Why and how am I here?"

"You and your friends had been pranked last night, only that it turned out to be quite troublesome and serious on your part.

So here you are treated, safe and on the road to recovery."He stated confidently.

"So you didn't kidnap me? I'm not drunk or drugged?"

"No, none of that." He answered appearing amused at my question.

I hadn't been tied or gagged, nor was I hurt, Belikov was not enough threatening now, thus I believed him.

My relief was palpable as I sagged into the covers, with a sigh, sometime later, I tentatively reached for the bottle, tasted a bit of the liquid inside-water it was,and drank wholesome gulps of it until I was satisfied.

When I focused back to my surrounding, I saw Belicov, sitting on the floor of the room, leaning against the wall, quitely observing me.

Heat rose to my cheeks, and trying to distract (myself more than him) , I asked.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I did. All of them."

"No you didn't, not exactly."

"What are you talking about?"

"About HOW, I got HERE. "

"I carried you."

The heat that had risen to my cheeks did not lessen, instead increased if possible, it was one of the moments, where I wished I would be swallowed by the bed, or the power cut off or I disappeared, anything but this.

Way to create distraction.

As if sensing my discomfort, he got up and left saying that he had to inform others and that I was to stay there.

He returned minutes later, informing me that my friends were on the way.

"When can I return to training?"

"Not until tomorrow."He answered, quirking an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He answered.

In the minutes that followed, I took in my surroundings carefully. It was a small room with, deep grey walls, a single cot, a cupboard and a small desk, in front of the small window and I assumed that the other door led to the adjoint restroom.

The room didn't have the feel of belonging to someone, it was completely unadorned , if not for the few books arranged neatly on the desk.

The whole room was impeccably neat and well maintained small despite being tiny as it was.

Having nothing more to do and nowhere to be, I observed Belikov as he got ready before the others arrived.

He tied up his hair, washed his face, and put on his duster.

That ridiculous coat actually did suit him well.

Catching me stare, he threw my words back at me, "What?"

"Nothing."I smiled replying.

"Sorry."I added immediately as an afterthought, "You know,... for hitting you with your book."

"It's okay, I'm just glad that you didn't tear it." He said almost smiling, but not so much.

And then reluctantly he added, "But you need to be better at defending yourself, had you been in actual trouble , that act would have in no way aided you."

I nodded understanding the importance of his words.

"What is this room used for?" I continued interrogating.

"Its my room." He simply added, confirming my guess.

"Can you tell me what happened last night?

I tried but I can't seem to remember anything. "

"Yes, someone played a prank on you and Lissa, in which Lissa escaped but you collapsed." He answered, vaguely almost frowning.

"But you need to tell me more abou..."

The rest of my words were interrupted as Lissa hugged me a little too tight quite suddenly and sobbed.

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Hello my dear readers, what do you think of the chapter?

I'm thinking about fixing an updating schedule, every Wednesday night or Thursday morning. What do you think?

Have a good day ahead!

-Katnipsc ;)


	15. chapter 15

DPOV

Was I under attack or was I at home?

The hit was enough to jar me awake but the force wasn't enough to injure or even hurt me.

 _What was the weapon of the attacker?_

I had been woken up in various creative ways all thanks to my sisters and a wicked old grandmother who not only was the instigator but also the propagator of such incidents. From the dumping of cold water to pinching, from itchy saplings to tickling I had seen it all.

Before much could happen simultaneous blows that followed caused me to act reflexively, releasing my hold on something, I made a grab for the attacker and moved quickly to switch on the light so that I could observe the situation at hand.

Sensing the intruder dash for the exit, I grabbed them by their hand, shoving them towards the bed hoping that the bed would catch the fall, giving me enough time to get a control of the matter.

Seeing her face, the events of the last night came flooding in and I momentarily sagged in relief. She appeared fine and her hitting me confirmed the fact that her senses were alert, but the force behind that hit made me realize that she needed to be better to remain in the faction.

Her face clearly showed her surprise, but it was her hair that drew my attention, some locks had escaped from the tie, framed her face and, the light reflecting, made them appear golden brown, resembling honey.

Dragging my stare back to her face I noticed her eyes, darting around the room frantically, she looked everywhere, at everything ,but me.

Her worried glances and rapid breathing suggested that she was clearly panicking at the situation and it wasn't good. Weak as she was, unaware even, if she had a panic attack, nothing good would come of it.

Trying to calm her down, hardly had I taken a step towards her when she jumped up and almost fled. Sensing her distress, I withdrew. This little act of her hurt, but I snuffed the thought with logic.

' _You've done nothing to gain her trust.'_

Though not pleasant the logic and reasonings always helped me to persist beside resisting.

Moments later, as an offering of peace I steadily held out my hand to offer her water. She appeared to be in need of hydration.

Little did she pay attention to my actions, only moved away. Steeling myself, I added, "Its only water, I promise ."

Wondering what had happened with her to make her this distrustful, I withdrew, to stand leaning against the wall, observing her, but again the current situation didn't call for trust.

I had been warned that she might suffer from some side effects, was it one of those playing in?

"Why and how am I here?"She appeared to growl.

Her distaste for her condition apparent in her eyes.

"You and your friends had been pranked last night, only that it turned out to be quite troublesome and serious on your part."I stated with faking confidence.

The words were vague even to my ears and I wished that it would be enough to satisfy her curiosity.

" So here you are treated, safe and on the road to recovery."I added on a second thought, choosing my words carefully as not to trigger her panic.

"So you didn't kidnap me?... I'm not drunk or... drugged?" She questioned with a peculiar expression on her face.

It was as if a combination of curiosity, relief and confusion. It amused me as to how a single person could convey so much in a particular expression. Just the movement of eyes, the furrowing of brows, shape of the lips,...

"No, none of that." I answered stopping myself from losing my train of thought.

A small smile appeared on her face, she probably didn't realise it, and I hoped that she had taken my word for the situation.

My belief turned to relief and then joy as she , tentatively reached for the bottle, had some water and then chugged down the whole bottle, sagging into the covers with a sigh. She had trusted me.

' _One of a kind, seriously'_ added my mind.

I sat down on the floor where I stood, observing her in the moment of quiet. She had changed but somehow she was the same.

She had grown taller, ( _'ofcouse she did'_ , added my mind), appeared stronger, her hair had grown longer, she no longer kept it in a bun, she had grown leaner, yet her eyes held that fire, her face the glow, her attitude hadn't changed, but somehow she looked even fiercer, even bolder. She was the violent Abnegate.

As if sensing my thoughts, she looked up to meet my gaze and appeared flushed.

"You didn't answer my question." She stated, surprising me.

"I did. All of them." I argued.

"No you didn't, not exactly." She countered.

"What are you talking about?"

"About HOW, I got HERE. " She finally clarified, appearing partially annoyed, and equally embarrassed.

"I carried you." I stated hesitantly.

The words made me realise that the side effects had actually kicked in.

She flushed at my words and noticing her discomfort, I excused myself to give her some space, my reason being, informing others.

Contacting Adrian, I informed him of the development and requested him to bring Ivan and Sonya along when her arrived.

On returning to the rooms, I found her curios gaze follow my movements and I informed her that company was ro arrive soon.

"When can I return to training?" She spoke, amusing me.

"Not until tomorrow."

' _Not before Sonya adviced that its okay.'_

"What?" She asked out of the blue.

"Nothing."Was all I could say.

I was guilty, and it had been weighing down on my conscience since the last night.

Distraction was what I needed, so I set to ready myself for the day. In all of it the duster remained constant, and putting it on reminded me of the life I had and the one I wanted to have,before I came here.

"What?" I questioned her as I caught her staring at me once again, while I put on my shoes.

"Nothing." She replied smiling, and that small smile made my day for it experessed ease and comfort of the moment that we had allowed ourselves to be swept away in.

"Sorry." She stated breaking the spell, but I didn't know what she had been apologizing for.

"You know,... for hitting you with your book."She clarified.

"It's okay, I'm just glad that you didn't tear it."I added smiling.

But that feeling of loneliness weighed me down. The memory of where the book came from added to my homesickness.

' _Act professionally. '_ Whispered a voice in my mind.

As I reluctantly made an attempt to converse.

"But you need to be better at defending yourself, had you been in actual trouble , that act would have in no way aided you." Stating the first thing that came to my mind, while she only nodded somberly.

"What is this room used for?"She questioned after some time.

I had noticed her observation.

"Its my room."I stated and she seemed pleased.

"Can you tell me what happened last night? I tried but I can't seem to remember anything. "

The words tumbled out of her mouth, as if she was nervous.

"Yes, someone played a prank on you and Lissa, in which Lissa escaped but you collapsed." I answered directly trying not to set her off, yet remained vague for the sake of our mission.

I didn't like it but that was all I could do. The mission couldn't be jeopardized, but this approach wasn't the best. For ince she was trusting me to speak the truth and here I was trying to evade.

Before I could dwell on more of my opinion, Lissa burst into the room, with Adrian, Ivan and Sonya in tow,and effectively prevented Rose from interrogating me any further.

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Hello people!

I kept my promise, and the next update will be on the upcoming Wednesday night or Thursday morning!

Hope that you have a great time ahead!

And don't forget to express your opinions on the chapter!

-Katnipsc ;)


	16. chapter 16

"Oh Rose!... I'm sorry!.. I'm so so sorry!...

I'm so glad that you are fine!" she said, sobs wracking through her willowy frame.

"She is fine, right?"She questioned, turning to the others, trying to compose herself.

She released me from the hug, but her hands had held onto mine

"I... I.. wouldn't have been able to live," sob, "had anything happened to you!", sob.

"I'm so sorry!"

"It was my fault."She stated crying.

So far I had been confused, I had assumed that she was guilty, but her words suggested something completely different.

 _Was something wrong?_

 _Was she in shock?_

 _Did I get something wrong?_

 _Had I been informed incorrectly?_

 _Was she joking?_

All questions and no answer.

"No Liss, this isn't your fault... It wasn't you..." I stated resolutely, trying to comfort ber, to show that I didn't blame her.

"The people who decided to play the prank are liable, they should be guilty, not you!"

My words seemed to confuse her.

"Rose, please don't call it a prank! It wasn't a mere.. Pra.."

She stopped mid sentence, turning to face the others accusingly once again,as if something clicked in place.

"Is that what you told her?"She snapped.

"How could you!"She added aghast.

"She deserves to know. You weren't even there. She is the one you who saved me."She stated desperate in anger.

And I noticed all the three men flinch under the hard gaze of a seemingly harmless blonde.

"The least you can offer is honesty."

"But Miss, we have been strictly instructed not to divulge and information regarding the matter."Added Ivan.

But soon shrunk back under the gaze of the angry young woman.

"You owe her the truth."

Minutes passed and nobody spoke a word . The silence being too much for my ever curious mind was broken .

" What are you people even talking about. You need to speak fast, my head is starting to ache."

My words seemed to remind them of my presence as their collective gazes focused on me again and silence persisted.

"Please give us a moment."Belikov said as the three men stepped out of the room.

 ** _DPOV_**

"We cant tell her!"Exclaimed Ivan.

"But Vasi... Lissa is correct in stating that Rose saved her. I saw it happen."Argued Adrian.

"Lissa knows, and if we don't tell Rose she will, and that'll simply be more trouble."I reasoned.

"We don't know where her loyalties lie!

For all our thinking this could have just been a mere act to help a mole into the mission."Said Ivan stating a reasonable and viable point, but something in his words about Rose, stung.

I couldn't get myself to think of her that way , the logical part of my mind had brought up the matter before and I had completely tried to ignore it, but Ivan voicing it ticked my Guardian off.

"Removing her from from the premises this early would arouse suspicions."Adrian added.

"Don't jump to conclusions Ivashkov , there are too many variables in the situation."Snipped Ivan.

He didn't like being ordered around, and the scene with Lissa annoyed him.

"How about we play along for the while and keep an eye on her. Look up her history, as for telling her about things ,lets state the obvious, if she is a mole it wouldn't be anything she wouldn't know and Lissa would be satisfied." I adviced, for it was the best I could come up with.

"And if Ivan's suspicion proves to be true, the trails will be an apt excuse to remove her."I reasoned, trying to not appear biased.

"Alright", "Sure."

I received in reply, a weight lifting from my chest. We headed back to the room, only hoping that I wouldn't have to regret my judgement and actions.

 ** _RPOV_**

"How have you been feeling Rose?"Questioned Sonya.

"Annoyed! Confused! Betrayed! " I stated dramatically.

"Not emotionally. Physically, dear. "She specified smiling.

"My body feels drained ,head is pounding against the skull ...I feel slightly nauseous... can't recall anything from yesterday... and have trouble breathing..."

Each symptom rearing its ugly head as I stated them, leaving me feeling worse than before.

" Would you like to have some water? "She questioned.

" Yes, please. "I replied as I was handed a glass of cold water.

Each gulp soothing my parched tongue, like I hadn't had some of it minutes ago.

Hardly had I put the glass down as the men returned. The somber looks on their faces remained.

" We've decided to tell Rose about the situation, as you mentioned Lissa, we owe it to her."Began Adrian.

"That'll be my cue."Sonya chirped in.

"When can I return to my training?"I asked her eagerly.

"Not before the day after tomorrow. You are still weak, and I would suggest that she isn't to be left unsupervised for atleast today"She said sincerely before departing.

Gone was my hope.

Two days ! What would I do during that time. I would miss the training, and the others would be questioning about my absence. Lissa's whatever secret would be out and we'll end up factionless.

The worry gnawing at my inside was bordering on hysteria, when a lilted voiced called to seek my attention, the accent enough to distract me, soothe me, as I tried to listen to them.

"Rose, you need to know that you cannot tell this anyone else."I nodded in response.

"Lissa is different from us, her thinking her ways, her outlook is different."Said Belikov .

"Open", added Adrian.

"Liberal",said Ivan.

"She is capable of doing a great many things, so someone is after her. They want her out of the way, this makes her a target and we are here to protect her." Ivan continued.

"The last attack was meant for her. It was a gas bomb, meant to render her conscious for hours, making her an easy prey."Adrian informed.

His words seemed to surprise Lissa as she gasped . It seemed as if the men were genuinely letting me in. But I was suspicious. It was too easy. Too simple.

" We don't know who is behind the attacks, so we need to do our best to protect our charge."Spoke Ivan.

"And now that you know what is happening we need you to stay alert."Spoke Belikov.

The men spoke in turns suggestings ways in which I could keep myself safe.

And when they stopped, I started laughing.

"Are you pretending to be naive or are you seriously so foolish."I said between breaths,chuckling.

Belikov slightly frowned at my words, Ivan seemed genuinely confused whereas Adrian appeared amused.

"And what makes you say so lady?" "Questioned Adrian smiling.

" Lissa is in danger, she needs protection, and here you are telling me about ways to keep myself safe.

I want in, I want to help you protect her. "

My words caused them to stiffen, as they continued to ignore me, a look passed between them and Adrian ushered Lissa out of the room using the excuse of her classes. The blonde left the room unwillingly with a gentle," I'll be back soon. "

No sooner had she left the room when the men locked the door and stood intimidatingly, blocking it.

"So, now we can get to business."

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HAHA!

I'm back as promised. Hope that you enjoyed the chapter.

Did you come across the news that Richelle Mead is working on new canon stuff from the VA/BL universe. I'm equal parts excited and terrified!

She said Declan and Neil's part are essential so I take her word for it, but I'm wondering if it'll be VA next generation.

What are your thoughts?

Hope you have a great time ahead!

-Katnipsc ;)


	17. chapter 17

"Who sent you?"Questioned Ivan.

"What? Why would anyone send me?"I voiced my confusion.

"We know that you have been sent here to compromise Miss Lissa's security, tell us who sent you, and we promise to keep you safe."He added.

"Did you know about the attack?"Asked Belikov.

"No,... No, how was I supposed to..."

"Did you intentionally bring Lissa to the old compound?"Spoke Ivan.

A fury evident in his voice but the facade of calm slipped from neither of their faces.

"Tell us about your leader and we promise you shelter, Rose, if that's your name."He continued.

"Who are your allies here?

Can you give us names?

Who else on this compound is with you?"

They continued interrogating, question after question, assuming that I was at fault, a traitor to their cause, but I remained clueless as to what caused them to be under the impression that they were.

It seemed that their questioning stretched for hours, it was basically Ivan who spoke and lead the event while Belikov stood by controlling his words and temper as required.

"Ivan that's enough. We've tried too long , probably we jumped to conclusions really soon this time. "He said, trying to convince Ivan to give in,but to no avail.

"Rose, tell me who is behind it all. We won't tell Lissa about it, the matter would be kept under wraps and solved, she won't have to suffer any more than she already has."He said.

But his words hit a nerve as I jumped up, from my place on the bed, yelling, " Why don't you get it! I don't know anything about it except what you told me, I just wanted to help, I am not a member of some super coveted organization bent upon killing Lissa, I don't know who is behind this. I just wanted to... help."

It was as if with the last word all air had left my lungs and despite trying to breathe I failed, the gasps proved to be fruitless as the world around me swirled, blurred and darkness surrounded me once again. I tried to move my limbs but they were numb, tried to speak but couldn't form coherent words, I felt helpless, again and then there was nothing.

DPOV.

" Are you both out of your minds! What were you thinking?

Interrogation! Really! " She said furiously.

You fools interrogated her! How dare you! Didn't I tell you to keep her away from any kind of stress for atleast a day! Yet here you are and you, YOU.. " She said pointing towards me.

"Leader Belikov, I hadn't expected this from you! Ole..." She stuttered immediately correcting her mistake.

"You have been trained in basic aid and medicine and I had expected you to act accordingly, but I doubt I should even let her be here any more. She'd be much better at the infirmary."

Sonya had been called in once again to check on Rose who had fainted during the interrogation. Seeing Rose's limp form had enraged her, and after checking in on her, Sonya had made sure to give us a piece of her mind.

It was Adrian who convinced her to let her be and assured her that he would handle the situation, as well as us.

Ivan had nearly lost his temper so Adrian took him away, and once again I was left to care for an unconscious Rose. And I couldn't help my mind mind as it slipped to the events of the last night.

 _"She has been poisoned."_ _Said Sonya._

 _Adrian only nodded meeting my eyes informing me that he had come to the same conclusion._

 _"It was mono-oxide poisoning."_ _He added_ _, somberly._

 _"Then it would take her hours to wake up. I suggest to hook her up with a mask, so that the oxygen would help her body rid itself of the gas."_ _She adviced._

 _"Do what you must."_ _Was all that I could say._

 _Within minutes every thing had been set up._ _She looked awful lying there with a mask on her face, with her life on the line._ _Reminding me of one of the most horrible moments of my life where a loved one had been in a similar condition._

'She was probably someone's loved one too.' _My mind chirped in._

 _I felt sad knowing the fact that she had no one to care for her at the moment but me. A complete stranger._

When she had woken up a few hours ago she had been experiencing the side effects just as Sonya had mentioned.

I had been relieved but had my doubts, and I let them get the better of me as a result of which we were here again.

Her unconscious form on my bed, under the covers, with her heart beating a little too fast in her chest, as it slightly moved up and down as she took steady breathes.

I had been careless. Mama would be so disappointed.

It had been a sentence.

 _'I want in, I want to help you protect her. '_

She had said. A little too directly.

The sentence had ticked Ivan off, his gaze had met mine, demanding immediate action. He had been on high alert eversince Andre had been murdered and the desperation to save Lissa had gotten the better of him.

I should have stopped him.

I should have cared for her.

It wasn't her fault that she was in this condition,it was ours!

I should have been in her place, alert, saving Vasilissa!

Minutes seemed to drag and thoughts reeled through my mind, until someone knocked at the door.

On my feet in seconds, I grabbed my gun and opened the door just enough to allow me to see the person on the other side.

"Adrian. "I acknowledged.

"Belikov."He replied.

"I have information."

His words caused me to move as he entered the room.

"She hasn't woken up since?"

"Nope."

"Hasn't it been an hour?"

"An hour and twenty three minutes.Sonya sedated her for the while. "

I replied peeking at my watch.

"Here", he said handing me a file, "it's all I could gather about her. She is a Hathaway, you know. We were wrong about her . She can't be a mole."He said.

"We've made a blunder man."He added, with a slight pat on my shoulder, and then left, sparing Rose a lingering gance .

Half an hour was all it took me to go through her file, throughly, twice.

We had been at fault, a grave one. Were anything to happen to her we'd be responsible. How careless we had been!

I thought, my head resting on my knees, as I sat on the floor, one hand clutching Rose's file and the other in my hair as I tugged onto the strands.

 _'No, I don't know.'_ She had said.

 _'Why would I want to harm Lissa?'_ She had reasoned.

 _'Believe me.'_ She had pleaded.

' Fools!' blamed my conscience.

'Careless' said a voice, sounding oddly like Mama's.

 _'I only wanted to help.'_

Had been her words moments before she had fainted.

Dropped from her defensive stance like a rag doll, gasping for breathe, she would have hit her head on the desk by the bed had I not caught her. All she uttered were not cries for help or breath or to live but a stream of words.

"I just wanted to... help,... her.. Not harm... Help Lissa.. I don't who... Harm.."

Just enough for me to make sense of what had been going on in her mind.

"I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry."I said, sitting by her side on the bed.

"Please get well and give me a chance to make up for the blunder."

"Please be okay! I believe you!... Do you hear me?... I believe you... I am so sorry."

My words had no effect as she lay in slumber undisturbed.

My gut had been right about her. She had been innocent and I was regretting my previous decision, more than any of the ones I had made before.

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HEHE! Romitri ahead!

I'm pretty much on a writing spree, so I hope that you enjoyed the super early and consecutive updates.

Have a great time where ever you are!

-Katnipsc ;)


	18. chapter 18

I woke up to a dark room yet again, but this time there was no headache , no major loss of focus, only slight soreness.I felt quite better, well rested even.

Sitting up on the bed, I could almost make out the huddled form, just beside my bed, with the head of the person, resting on the matress just beside my hand.

Seeing him, the previous events slipped back with an ease. The compound. The night. Waking up. Belikov . Lissa. The interrogation and then darkness.I shuddered.

Boy! Hadn't it been a long day.

Reaching for the glass of water, placed on the small table beside the bed, I soothed my parched tongue, only to realize the hunger gnawing at my insides.

There was no clock to be seen, the windows shut close , thus no way for me to figure out, the hour of the day.

It took me a moment to realize that I had in no way been restricted, my hands and feet hadn't been tied up, nor had I been blind-folded, and I wondered if they had believed me or simply imprisoned me in the room with Belikov as the caretaker, ' _or your jailer.'_ Added my mind.

The fine line of light from under the door attracted my attention as I stood to reach for a probable exit, but the door had been locked.

 _'Definitely the jailer.'_

I couldn't help but think.

Helping my self to another glass of water, hardly had I taken a step back towards the bed, when the dizziness returned, my feet struck something on the ground, lost my balance and tripped, my eyes tightly shut, anticipating pain.

Seconds later, when nothing happened I dared to peek from an eye and seeing that everything was fine, I opened the other ,realising a moment too late that I was inches away from Belikov's face, who had been asleep moments ago but was fully awake now, with his eyes staring into mine, while one of his hands gripped my waist, the other, my upper right shoulder to keep me from falling.

The heat rushed into my cheeks, and the silence weighed upon me only to be interrupted by the sound of my frantically beating heart.

His eyes I noticed were brown with flecks of gold, they weren't as dark as mine but the color of chocolate and deep, as if they held wisdom of ages.

I hadn't realized that I had been staring until be cleared his throat, it was interruption enough to break the spell.

"You are awake."He said almost appearing pleased.

His face held no emotion, but his eyes seemed to dance with joy.

"Sorry, I tripped on something." I said hurriedly getting up.

"My feet" he said. "It was my feet you tripped on. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."I replied embarrassed at my clumsiness.

Silence persisted next as he got up and went to the washroom, returning in some time, with a towel in hand. He had washed his face, removing any and all signs of sleep.

"How are you feeling?"He questions.

"Much better."

"Would you mind if I check it myself?"He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

"I have been trained in basic aid and medicine."He said defensively, when I contemplated a while too long before replying.

I nodded once in reply and he set to work.

He brought a thermometer, checked my temperature, held my wrist counting my pulse, repeated the process under my skull, on the side of neck, shone torch in my eye, did the how-many-finger-do - you-see test and a few more, besides asking a few questions.

After he was satisfied, he stopped and went through the stuff he had jotted down. He had made a note of his complete observation.

"I had no concussion you know."I told him defiantly.

"I know, but its better to conduct all the tests while I'm here." He answered somberly ,clearly hiding his surprise at my accusations.

"Would you like to eat something?"

His words reminded me of my hunger as my stomach rumbled in answer.

"I'll be back."

He said leaving the room and returned in ten minutes with a big cardboard box in hand.

"Take your pick. " He said, offering a box full of fruits and salads, and other light edible items.

I chose an apple and he took it from me washed and handed it to me on a paper plate, all chopped into bite sized pieces ready to be eaten. He chosed a plate of packaged salad and sat in front of the door.

We ate in silence, but the tension in the room was quite palpable. Trying to divert my mind, I began quizzing him on random things and surprisingly he answered.

"Do you love doors?"

"No."

"Do you love floor?"

"No. "

"Do you have trouble standing up?"

"No. "

"Do you have any allergies?"

"No. "

"Then why have you been sitting on the floors since I've seen you?"

At my words he finally looked up from his plate and at me, appearing slightly amused.

"There's not enough space any where else."He stated as an excuse.

Moving towards a corner, I dragged the covers with me, "there's enough to sit down. Come on up "

He stared at me probably gauging if my proposition was serious and when I didn't back down, he joined me making me feel better. The poor man had been unable to use his amenities just because I was present.

"What is the time? "

"2:30 in the morning."

"Wow, I was out too long! Wasn't I? "

My words seemed to affect him more than I thought as he got on defensive.

"Nurse Sonya, had sedated you. To help you rest."

The news surprised me, but I wasn't perturbed, thus a bare, 'hmm' was my sole reply.

"I am sorry."He almost blurted moments later.

To say that his words surprised me would be an understatement, the guy seemed so high and mighty always right and ahead of others, I had thought that there wouldn't be a time I'd ever see him at fault.

"I'm sorry for the way we interrogated you earlier, with no care for you situation or your mental health. We had assumed that you were a mole."

His head hung low as he accepted his mistake and his eye wouldn't meet mine, as he kept them fixed at some point on the ground.

" It's okay. "I offered in peace.

" It's not. "He almost growled.

Gone was his facade of calm and, in that moment I realized, he wasn't angry, he was guilty.

"What we did was wrong, how can you say that it's okay?"He said, his distress clear in his tone.

"Well you asked for my forgiveness, its mine to give or deny, so I'll go with you and say it was fine. Your apology has been accepted. It was okay. The matters settled."

"How can you?", he said as if partly amazed, and partly aghast.

"Because I can."I replied firmly, smiling.

" Thus I take it that you've finally believed my words?"I said testing the waters.

"We have."He replied.

Silence reigned in for a while before I started quizzing him again.

"How many more days?"

"Three. "

"Do you like ice-cream?"

No answer, he just appeared confused.

"What's your go to weapon?"

"Short knives,guns,poisons etc."He answered nonchalantly.

"Don't you have questions?"

"I do."

"Why don't you ask?"

"Its not my place to ask you anything."

"Then why are you answering me?"

"Because I can."

The random quizzing continued, until, I was too tired to speak anymore and fell asleep at random, with the memory of Belikov, tugging the covers from under my feet and putting them on me.


	19. chapter 19

I could feel her gaze on my skin as she took in my stance and movements . It was, as if something with a physical form, the force just enough to keep my senses alert as her mere presence had an effect on me, she appeared to be completely unaware of .

Adrian had kindly accepted my proposal for a friendly combat session, as a result of which, I currently was on the dojo, defending myself, by blocking and side-stepping his attacks.

Ammunitions though his speciality, Ivashkov was a decent opponent in one to one combat and it was refreshing to fight him after so long.

It had been two long days, filled with enough worries and now, here, was my outlet, my chance to unburden myself.

So far, I had been on the defence, now I went on the offensive, and was impressed to see that Adrian had sensed the change, thus successfully blocking my first attack , the counter attack was enough to pull me into the fight as blows were not only blocked but also exchanged.

It was between attacks that I dared to get a glimpse of her. Seated against the opposite wall, cross legged, with an easy smile on her face and eyes shining as she took in the combatting duo, in front of her.

Her mouth was partly agape, the expression giving away the fact that she was mesmerized, awed by all that she was seeing.

I wondered if it was me, she was mesmerized with ,the thought bringing an odd sense of joy and pride.

' _Or was it Adrian? '_ Questioned my inner self.

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind, my mood soured, an odd feeling rearing its head.

' _Was I jealous?'_

Distracted as I was I didn't see Adrian land a kick on the lower left side, on my ribs, my body, urging me to curl up at the caused impact. Whereas, taking a step back, I prepared for the counter attack, a combination of swift offensive moves, that put an end to the match as Adrian, finally accepted his defeat.

It wasn't until I saw Roza grinning from ear to ear, that I felt elated.

Turning to get my bag, I saw Adrian groan, as he made his way back to the benches at the end of the gym, his hands testing the movement of his wrist as he rotated it clock-wise and anti-clockwise, remindimg me that it was supposed to have been a friendly match, in which I had allowed myself to be swept away in the heat of the moment and lost control.

As the realization dawned upon me, I sobered, stepping forward to help the man who was a fellow comrade in arms.

"Why do I feel that you are guilty of your victory, Belikov ?" asked Adrian, as I handed him a bottle of water and picked up his gym bag along with mine, heading towards the exit.

"Its nothing." I said.

"Of all the possible answers, this is the best to state that something indeed is wrong." He countered , standing with a 'humph ', to follow my lead.

RPOV

It was the third time that I woke up in Belicov's room, but unlike the others, this time, it wasn't dark and he was fully dressed in his attire, wearing a hole into the floor as he paced across the room, constantly.

Observing him until my head started to hurt, sitting up, I voiced my concern.

"If you continue to do that, I'd probably lose consciousness due to the headache, your act is giving me."

Listening to my voice, he stopped and turned to observe me, his face betraying no emotions,the change in his countenance acted like a slap to my face. Gone was my playful mood.

There had been this air of comfort and care around him, the last night as we had conversed, but now all that I felt was determination and resolve, the cause of which was unknown to me.

The look in his eyes was a sad reminder of my mother, who couldn't have cared any less about me. Composing my features, I stood up.

"I am sorry, that was out of line. Please excuse my fault ." I said in all sincerity.

"Would you mind if I freshen up?" I added, to which he replied with only a swift nod.

Splashing cold water on my face, did nothing to wash away the moments with my uncaring mother that invaded my mind, the following moments.

Stepping out of the washroom, I was greeted by a smiling Lissa, who eagerly handed me my breabreakfast and began recounting the events of previous day .

I tried to pay attention to her words, but my eyes and mind kept drifting the person, who stood my the door of his own room, in attention, as if trying to fade from existence.

An hour or so later, Ivan returned to fetch Lissa for her classes, and she left cheerfully bidding me a goodbye, accompanied by a, ' _get well soon'_.

While Ivan had been in the room, Dimitri had left for a while and returned moments before his departure.

A swift nod was exchanged between the men, making me wonder how much could have transpired between them, by this mere a gesture.

For some time that followed, an awkward and uncomfortable silence, graced the room,for neither of us spoke a word.

Belikov, sat on the floor by the door, reading from the book, I had used to hit him the last day, while I stood near the window, looking outside.

Surprised to see that instead of the expected dull gray of the cement buildings, the window overlooked an old part of the compound that had fallen to shambles and had been taken over by nature, thus covered in hint of grass, patches of moss and a sparse growth of wild flowers, the little spalsh of colour, enough to cheer my mood.

The view bringing back the memories that seemed to be from a lifetime ago, of the beautiful taperstries, handwoven blankets, warm tea, tasty food, paintings, writings , and friends. Little could I do to hold back a smile that accompanied these fond moments, giving me strength to carry on and be, what I had set out to be. ' _A better human being.'_

The moment was lost as a knock sounded on the door and both Belikov and I jumped up at the sudden interruption. Making me realize that I wasn't the only one who had a lot on my mind.

A shiver ran down my spine as I wondered, what would happen if Belikov or any other leader here, ever got to know about things I did.

It was Adrian I saw, at the door, supposingly he and Dimitri had arranged for a sparring session and I was glad that they allowed me to tag along, without any interruption.


	20. chapter 20

"Hathaway, wake up!" said a voice politely, but merely above a whisper, "Hathaway, up."

Opening my eyes, I found Belikov standing beside my, _'no_... _his_ bed.. , fully dressed for his probable workout .

As always his face betrayed no emotion, but his eyes, held seriousness. Sitting up on the bed, I waited for an explanation, but simply received a, "get ready" in reply.

Almost stumbling out of the tangled covers I headed towards the washroom with my bag of belongings,which had been dropped by the room, a courtesy from Lissa, the other day.

I had still not been told of what impression the other initiates were under, for my disappearance from the training, while I only hoped that it wouldn't come to bite me back.

A few minutes later I was being lead through passages only to realize that we were headed towards the clinic or a hospital like environment, for the distinct smell prevailed in the area near it.

Miss Sonya, after a few examinations and questions, to my great relief, stated that I could resume the training from the very day itself.

The news added to my joy, because yesterday had been completely awkward. Belikov behaved in a weird way, spoke no more than a word at a time and listening to Lissa recounting the events of the day was becoming increasingly tiringly.

It was surprising when Belikov didn't leave my side after returning from the clinic, he simply signaled me to follow him, as we headed towards the gym we had been to, the last day.

Switching on the lights, we walked in.

Yet again I allowed myself a moment to take in my surroundings, the smell of leather and sweat though faint was present and made me feel like home. I had unknowingly warmed up to this aspect of a Daunteless' life. Without answering any of my _'who's_ ', ' _whats'_ or _'why's'_ , Belikov went on to begin with his workout.

It was rude, given the way he behaved after the gas bomb incident, being all polite, comforting and welcoming. It appeared as if this was a completely different man, a new persona,a stranger.

' _A stranger'_ , the term stung.

Thinking about him that way felt wrong, he didn't feel like a stranger.

It wasn't like I knew anything about him beyond his name and that of his girlfriend, but he was familiar.

Deciding that it was a fair opportunity to get back to my routine, I started with a light workout - stretches, jogs, exercises and moved on to some weights.

What stopped me in my tracks was the sight of an unknown woman dressed in black, standing at the entrance of the gym.

Only then did I realize that Belikov had stopped in his routine sometime and stood in attention, in the background.

I guess I got a bit too carried away, thinking that training would give me something to occupy my mind with.

 **DPOV**

 _Two minutes.._

She didn't stop. She didn't see Alberta come in. Her senses weren't on. Alert.

 _Four minutes..._

 _Rose look up. Look at me atleast._

 _Six minutes..._

 _Oh Rose! Please look up!_

 _Seven minutes..._

 _If you don't look up now, I'll intervene. For goodness' sake look up..._

It was as if she had woken up from a trance, the way she looked up all of a sudden, as if my words had directly echoed in her mind.

Her eyes immediately landed on Alberta, who stood, leaning against the doorframe, appearing amused at situation.

Seeing that she had all the attention, the lady walked in.

"Morning Leader Belikov."

"Morning Miss Petrov." I greeted.

This was a thing about her, she was one of the major Dauntless leaders, but didn't like the use of her title while in the Dauntless compounds, when outside she never forgot to remind people to use the designated term.

She never stayed at the compound too long, just visited frequently.

"Morning novice." She greeted Rose.

"Morning Miss Petrov." Replied Rose repeating my exact words and I was glad that she had been observant.

Alberta wasn't someone to be messed with. She dealt with various issues and had multiple sources some known some unknown, one, Dauntless or not, knew she had an authority, which she never backed down from using when called for.

"Madam, this is initiate Rose." I said, gesturing towards her.

"Rose, this is Leader Petrova .One of the highest ranking Dauntless officials." I added addressing her.

"I haven't seen you anywhere on the compound before." Rose said almost suspicious.

She was observant.

"That is because I wasn't around, young lady." Answered Alberta, laughing. "I'll give you credit for noticing that, though."

This earned Alberta a nasty glance from Rose.

"She is feisty, isn't she?" Alberta jested.

Rose replied with a characteristic _'humph_ '.

' _Dear lord! What is even going on here?'_ I couldn't help but wonder.

Only hoping that Alberta wouldn't be offended by Rose's behavior because however hard I tried to get her to look at me, she pointedly avoided it.

"Is this location secure?" She enquired.

It was earlier this morning that I had been shortly notified of her arrival and that she demanded a meeting with me regarding Rose .

She was the head of this operation, taking orders directly from Hans. She had been notified of the situation with Rose and it was really intriguing to see her act this soon, going as far as to visit the compound.

There were a very few matters that were the center of her undivided attention. She usually was very discreet in her job. Unlike now, where she openly laughed and jested with others.

I respected her and her work,sometimes doubted her ways but nonetheless they were effective thus meritorious. She had her own set of morals that I had yet to understand but the ones I did were, not far from mine.

I wasn't someone here, who could judge others. Just hoping to make something meaningful out of the situation that I had landed myself in.

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Hi, this was almost a filler chapter. Quite a few things just might happen in the next chapter.

Don't forget to tell me how you feel about the chapter and if you have a chance, drop by my new compilation called ' **Unseen moments :a compilation of VA AU one shots!**

Have a great day until then!!

-Katnipsc :)


	21. chapter 21

It is Saturday and even lifting a finger feels like a gigantous effort. It has been two days, since Alberta's departure and yet, despite acknowledging the fact that I had willingly gotten myself into this, I can't help but blame her .

"Hey sleepy head, glad you're up, we'll be heading for the breakfast soon, care to join us." Greeted Christina's chirpy voice.

I returned to the common dorms two days ago, and was surprised to see that it hadn't taken much to convice people that overworking myself, I had carelessly sprained the muscles of my leg, and had been taken under guided counselling for this foolishness.

The leaders had indeed put effort and successfully put my absence to use. This was a perfect disguise for their purposes and a fine example to prevent others from overworking themselves.

These days, it annoyed the hell out of me, when people around me spared those pitying glances, as a result of which they recieved glares in return, or perhaps a smirk if I was feeling better, but even that was occasional for I was almost dead tired on my feet.

' _Hey Rosie, how's your feet?'_ _Or 'Hey Rose are you doing okay?'_ were quetions, frequently asked by Mason, Eddie and much to my surprise Christian.

They had been warned by me, not to go easy and, I was glad that they had aceeded to my request, except for Mason who needed a bit of reasoning.

"Five minutes." I groaned, sitting up on the bed.

"Its nine-thirty Rose, and from what I believe, you have a place to be in the next half an hour." Supplied Christina helpful, for I realized that if I didn't hurry up, I'd once again be late. Third time since the beginning, in other words, as every morning.

Twenty minutes later, I was hurrying through the corridor to the smaller gym where I as designated to be.

Fifteen minutes from then I realized that he was late, and sunk down on th floor to sit and wait for his arrival.

Ten minutes later, the annoyed instructor entered the gym.

"I'm sorry to say, but I beat you at you your game." I stated, grinning. In reply to which he stated grimly.

"No Miss Hathaway, the training was supposed to be held at the gym in the older compound, but being a forgetful novice, you made me wait there for fifteen minutes, before I decided to come and check upon you."

Concluding his sentence, he stood glaring at me from his insane height, seconds passed before he ordered me to follow him, leading me to an empty quad," twenty laps, half an hour. " He said.While I stood gaping at him.

" But... But that's not fair. It's five more than the usual and even the time hasn't changed. How am I... ", I tried objecting, only to be swiftly interrupted by him taking onto the role of my mentor.

"Initiate, you had been warned , as to not be late, punctuality has a value and you need to be aware of this fact. Proceed to your training." He stated icily, shortly before departing.

Three hours later, when I sank down to the floor groaning and refusing to stand up, I was surprised to have him get up and offer me a bottle of water.

" Is this a peace offering comrade? "I teased,only to have him raise a single eyebrow questioningly.

" Comrade? "he said, emphasizing his question.

" Yep, I've done my research. It suits us. Comrade-in - arms? Fellow soldiers in the war, same team, same mission. "I stated answering, but my words had probably hit a nerve as he added in an eerily calm tone of his,"You have your missions and I have mine, so don't pretend to know about things that you don't. It won't be of any help."

It creeped my out, his words, it stung, but before I could form a coherent reply, he was gone.

I had four more hours, before I would see him again, and spent another three, training.

DPOV

Three days, it has only been three days and she is already reading into me, and being the fool that I am, I can't help the words slipping out, before I realize their worth.

 _'I'm such a fool. I'm endangering her!'_

Returning to my room, I took a seat on the floor, (it was becoming an unusual habit of mine, which I was finding hard to change).

 _"I recieved the news on the events of the past day and have come to deliver further orders, directly from leader Hans._

 _You, Rosemarie,"_ Alberta had said, only to be corrected, the next moment, " _Rose, are to be trained by a personnel from Lissa's team, to be her near guard, being initiates and of similar age, gives you an advantage that we want to put to use._ _Any casualty or slack from your side wouldn't be tolerated, and your training would be planned and carried out by Leader Belikov, "_ at this both our heads had snapped up, for neither of us had been asked, these were orders required to be followed and we couldn't help it," _and before you appear for initiation test, you'd be personally screened by a ranking leader, involved in the mission."_ She had concluded, as professionally as ever, putting an end to her business with us.

" _Decide your schedules, let me know. You will begin from tomorrow and the necessary changes will be arranged for."_ She had said before leaving the both of us stunned, contemplating the dilemma we had found ourselves in.

Thinking back to the morning I groaned. I had been aware of the fact that it will be hard, but I had also believed in myself to reign over my thoughts, which in turn made me realize that nothing was as easy at it seemed.

And my actions towards Rose, this morning, hadn't been justified in the slightest. I was at fault I was frustrated at my lack of control. Me putting her to this was quite unfair, and I planned on making up for it. Instead of being so rude, I could perhaps be helpful.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello dear readers, don't forget to let me know about your opinions for the chapter.

I'd appreciate if you give my other works a chance.

 _ **Just moments -**_ is being edited.

 _ **Unseen moments:A compilation of VA AU moments -**_ will be updated today.

 _ **A Wish Upon The Stars -**_ completed.

I hope that you have a great time ahead!

-Katnipsc :)


	22. chapter 22

_"Dimka, would you please go and get the bags from the distribution centre? The order has been placed under my name and paid for. Its to be ready by three."_ She said, handing him the carry bags.

"I'll be back soon." He commented departing.

"Belikov! Open up!"

He woke up , in cold sweat, somebody banging on his door. It was always this memory, always a pleasant one, but he couldn't help and relive the horror that came next, causing goosebumps all over his skin.

He hadn't noticed that while thinking, he had fallen asleep, he had had nowhere to be for the next four hours, so this nap shouldn't have been a problem given how tired he'd been the past couple of days.

The interruption though, was unscheduled. Checking the time, he saw he still had fifty minutes, until the ext training session.

' _Rose!_ 'He remembered.

 _This is a mess!_

Groaning, he got to his feet to greet the unwelcomed intruder.

RPOV

"Hey Rose! Where are you going? Won't you hang out with us for the evening?" Mason questioned, in the cafeteria, as I was about to leave , which had clearly become 'our' table.

"She's got training redhead." Christina chimed in while I shrugged in acceptance.

"Oh!", he exclaimed, his shoulders visibly drooping in disappointment, only seconds later his eyes lit up.

"Would it be a problem, if I join you?" he questioned, in a hopeful way.

Seeing no drawback in the suggestion, I agreed, as we parted, agreeing to meet at the gym. I guessed it wouldn't be a problem to Belikov, since I could always hop to the second gym, beside where we usually practiced when called for.

Half an hour into the training, Mason suggested that we spar,Agreeing to which, we took our positions on the opposite sides of the ring.

Mason had been a tough component, in the beginning, but now, compared to Dimitri, he was slow, it made it easy for me to anticipate his moves , now all that I needed to work on were my defence and counter attacks which were proving to be weaker than his.

The first three hits had all been single pointers, as a result of which, Mason was grinning from ear to ear.

"You need to work harder Rosie." He spoke smirking.

It was this over confidence that resulted to what came next, a high kick to his face, a three pointer according to the rules and, we were at par.

Stumbling back and then regaining his balance, Mason grounded himself to the ring.

His focus, evident in the way, he moved, and the numbers of his attacks that hit home.

The match ended with him, using my move to swipe my feet of the floor as I landed in the floor with a ' _thud'._

"I so need to work harder"I groaned, as he offered me a hand at standing up.

When I didn't take his hand," Come on girl, don't be so arrogant. It was just a friendly match. "he said, kneeling down beside me, still offering to help me up.

Smirking I took his hands, as he pulled me up, placing a quick kiss on my cheek, he left, winking, after grabbing his bag.

All I could do was stand frozen, with the lingering feeling of his lips on my cheek, unable to fully comprehend my opinions of his actions, its source and my feelings towards it.

Confirming the clock, I realised that I had training with Belikov in not more than three minutes . Feeling exhausted and equally helpless, I grabbed my bag and entered the room next door.

DPOV

I exited the room, with my thoughts reeling, trying to process the new information. This wasn't good, we needed to do something and really soon.

Lissa was under direct threat and we didn't want her to know about these events. Only very recently had she started settling into a comfortable routine and we were unwilling to disrupt it.

Grabbing my gym bag from my room I made way towards the gym, to let off some steam. I needed a solution for this and I needed a level head to do so. A lot was at stake.

I realized that fate was decidedly working against me, when the gym I was supposed to use was pre-occupied. Rose and Ashford stood combatting inside and from the looks of it Rose was about to lose.

It gave me an opportunity to observe her once again. So far it hadn't been hard to conclude that with proper training she could be lethal but we still needed to work on her stamina and agility, even some muscle.

Watching them spar, a solution seemingly started forming in my mind. Rose was the key and the other novices could play a part. Only drawback being the fact that I still couldn't get myself to inform her about the mission completely . Emotions aside, I still couldn't bring myself to trust her.

Unwilling to see her lose again I stepped into the gym next door, dropping my bag, shortly upon entering, I seated myself on the bench, waiting for her to arrive.

Minutes later, I was made aware of her entrance, as she dramatically groaned, dropped on to the floor beside the entrance, chugging water from her bottle as if she hadn't had any for ages.

The act reminding me of Lana, almost bringing a smile to my face, only to be accompanied by a frown as I recalled everything related to her.

"Can we please take it easy for today? I can't even seem to feel my limbs anymore." Rose said, somewhat trying to massage her ankle, while I wondered if she had sustained any injury from the session before.

"Okay." I replied as her head snapped up, eyes wide, she stared at me.

"Is there a problem initiate?" I questioned, bringing her out of the daze.

"That was too easy."She replied, sparing me a suspicious glare.

Shaking my head, I looked away, for the look her eyes, made me feel accepted in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. Making me wonder, _" What am I going to do with her. "_

 _" What was she doing to me? "_ my mind added a second later.

Trying to stop my mind from dwelling too far of the topic, I simply jumped to the point." I need you on a mission. "


	23. chapter 23

The third week at the Dauntless compounds began as usual, with me waking up all too early and leaving for practice.

When Belikov had mentioned that he'd take it easy, the words had only been valid for a day. So, come Sunday and he was handing me my ass yet again.

Him stating that he wanted me in on a mission hadn't been explained beyond the fact that I had to shadow Lissa, anywhere and everywhere. She was not to be left alone at any cost, to remain unaware of this fact, if I was to leave her side, Belikov had to be informed so anyone could take my place for the time being.

I had asked him the cause behind the measure, _"added safety, it's a precaution."_ he had said. But that, I felt, was only the partial truth. He hadn't cared enough as to elaborate on the topic and dismissed me for the day.

I hadn't seen Mason or Eddie the whole of yesterday, for Christina and I had hung out with Lissa.I had wondered if Christina had been ignorant about the developments between Lissa and her brother, but my assumption had been proven incorrect, when she was excited yesterday night.

 ***flashback***

 _"Have you seen my brother today?"_ She asked.

 _"I have. He has been ridiculously tolerable for the past week. I wonder how the change has come about."_

" _Someone has been a positive influence I guess."_ she mused. "Have _you noticed how happy Lissa has been?"_ she added on second thought.

" _Are you implying, what I think you are implying? "_ I questioned. The confusion apparent on her face making me add," _Do you think that Lissa and Christian might have a thing? "_

 _" You knew? "_ She questioned appearing, genuinely surprised and equally aghast.

" _I guessed. "_

What followed was a ear peircing joyous squeal, which caused me to put my hands against her mouth, to stop her, for we had been out late after curfew, and if caught it would only bring trouble.

 ***flashback ends***

Standing in front of the floor length single mirror, I noticed a smile on my lips. It somehow still felt surreal, a privilege to be able to look at myself without restrictions.

Christina found it weird because both she and Lissa spent hours in front of it working on their day to day appearance while I threw on outfits in minutes and was off to my job for the day in the next minute.

My mood all pleasant while the day which appeared to good to be true came to an end, the moment I entered the crowded Dauntless cafeteria, my eyes landing on Lissa who appeared to be on the verge of tearing up, as Jessie and some short girl stood beside her, smirking wickedly.

"Hey Liss , can I have a moment?" I asked, interruption the moment.

My voice distraction enough for her to gain control over her composure.

"Sure." She replied, hastily standing up, ready to leave.

"Hold up princess. You forgot the scroll."

Chirped in the short blonde haired girl, handing Lissa a rolled booklet.

It was the most I had ever seen her irked, soon intervening I rescued her from the situation.

"What happened Liss?" I tried to pry, when we were alone in her room, handing me the rolled bundle of paper she broke into tears, sobs wracking through her body, she hugged me tight.

It was awkward but not bad, she needed my comfort so I tried to calm her, I let my fingers gently comb through her platinum locks as she tried to get it together.

It took an hour for her to fall asleep. Ivan arrived on my request as I headed to my practice for the day. I had missed the session with Dimitri and the first half was still up for self training, thus I headed to the gym.

"Hey Rose, are you free this evening? Would you like to hang out with me at the quad?" Asked Mason, when I had just begun to focus on my workout.

The event of the last day flashed through my mind, as I could no more look at him, let alone his face.

"Sorry Mase, I'm up for more training as usual." I replied, withdrawing from the gym, determined to hide in my room for the rest of the day, wishing to put on a charade of non-chalance.

Entering the corridor I realized that I had no room to call my _'own'_. Looking for a place to hide, I wandered around the compound,only to chance upon an old broken, unused balcony of sorts.

Depositing my bag in a corner, I slumped against the railing, with my legs dangling from the edge. It was thrilling to be this high above the ground, the feeling rushing through my veins, making me feel alive.

A huge part of the compound could be seen, both old and new and it was a breath-taking view, a scenary painted in blue, black, grey and green. A relief to the eye.

It was after a few moments that my guilt began to rear its head.

' _I hadn't waited around to see his reaction, I had probably hurt his feelings.'_

 _' I had been too rude.'_

 _'I was a fool. The matter could have been sorted out in a far better way.'_

I thought, my mind reeling, feeling sad and confused, tuning my surroundings out enough to attack the first person who tried to ground me to the reality again.

A hand had softly landed on my shoulder making me jump out of my skin as I retaliated with punches.

Seeing him stand behind me, I was glad that he knew how to defend himself.

"Oo,look whom I surprised!" He said. "Hey little fighter, you seem lost." he added , "Can I be of any assistance?" He continued smiling in that wicked yet charming way of his.

"I don't know Adrian. I don't know what is wrong or what's weird, I'm confused and it looks like I mess up everything I undertake,every where I go."

Frowning he asked, "And what led you to believe this Rose?"

That's all it took for me to pour my heart out to him.

"Change takes time Rose." He stated in a strangely calm tone,making me wonder if his body harbored a soul decades old.

"Stop being this hard on yourself. Give yourself some time and see that things will be better. Just take things easy, for the time being, you are over thinking things now. Just try going with the flow for now." he concluded, sagely.

The next hours or so were spent in content silence as we sat side by side, on the ledge, enjoying each other's company and the mesmerizing view, with occasional observations and comments being voiced, creating a peaceful bubble which lasted long enough to calm my inner turmoil.

It was when I got up to leave did I notice, it, Adrian had lit a cigarette and it was balanced precariously between his fingers. "Aren't those supposed to be unhealthy?" I spoke, recalling the repeated lessons on health from middle grade.

"I'm touched by your concern Little fighter, thank you, but this is an occasional pleasure I indulge in, so don't worry." He answered with his head lolling to a side with the smallest of smiles gracing it.

"Thanks for being here Adrian."

"You are always very welcome Rose!"he replied as I headed on for lunch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello my dear readers. I'm pleased to inform you that _ **, ' What I Live By'**_ has now completed a year! On the 5th of August, my story turned a year old. So I thank all the readers , favourites, followers and reviewers. Thanks for the encouragement and support. Please let the kind words keep coming.

As a treat I will answer one question from each of you , as long as it doesn't spoil the story for you.

Also to the _**guest**_ who reviewed, congratulating me in advance :thank you thank you so much for your kind words!

Lots of love!

-Katnipsc :)


	24. chapter 24

_'She wasn't supposed to know.'_ Punch ' _she wasn't even supposed to see it...'_ Punch ' _She fled from the common hall crying...'_ double punch.

His mind reeling with events of the past day, he let out his frustration on the old punching bag, that he had patched up at various places at different points of time. It was old, but sturdy , battered and scratched, but stood witness to various situations that had troubled the young man and he lived through it all.

' _Way to establish an image... I wasn't there to aid her...'_ Punch ' _I wasn't there to stand by her...',_ Punch.

He hadn't come to know of the situation until a few hours ago, and the guilt that attacked his conscience was leaving him frustrated.

The brats had easily messed up all that he had so carefully planned. His charge was distressed and in no condition to understand and act on proper reason. He had seen her break before. The girl had only seen a few things and could be broken as easily.

Taking her up as a charge, had brought much more than only responsibility upon him. He had made it his personal goal to keep her safe, to keep anyone safe from them and he was determined never to fail again.

But that wasn't it. He hadn't been in a good place or a better state of mind, when he had been informed. The entire previous day had been quite troublesome and its effects still evident in his actions, his temper flaring as he thought back the situation he had last been in.

 _flashback *_

"Dimka, are you free?", said a grinning Natasha Ozera, whom Dimitri had found on the other side of the door, as he stood at the gate answering the repeated knocks that had disrupted his unrestful slumber.

"Why do you ask?" He questioned, trying to keep his tone polite, lest he offend the woman.

"I just wanted to hang out with you for a while." She replied a little too cheerfully for his liking.

He was well aware of the fact that a simple 'hang out', didn't really mean a hang out, but session of him avoiding Tasha's offers and unwanted advances.

" I'm sorry Tasha, I'll have to let this opportunity pass, I just returned from a long shift and have another in a few hours, so I'd like to catch a quick nap." He replied neutrally , trying to channel an ounce of remorse, but none came.

"It's all right Dimka, no need to go out, I can just hang around in your room while you rest." She said, wriggling her way into the room and making herself comfortable near the foot of his bed.

The woman's blatant disregard, equally surprised and annoyed him.

" I don't think that will be a good Idea Tasha. "He stated sincerely, still standing beside the door holding it open, hoping that she'd get the hint.

Tasha being the stubborn person she was, didn't leave. Tired as he was, unfiltered thoughts made was to his mouth and slipped his tongue.

" Tasha, I'm not into you, we were and have been friends, I don't want to , and can't take it any further than this."He said, observing her reaction , which surprisingly remained unchanged.

"I'll be there to help and support you in need but never as a partner, just a friend.

I am not in love and cannot fall for you. I know this and hope that you understand." He added in all honesty.

"I would never want you to waste your time on me. There are people out there, better than me, who would care for you, and love you, more than you would imagine, value you for what you are worth, treat you so much better. Its just that I am not that person for you. Can never be. Will never be. "

He concluded, waiting for her to speak.

Only she didn't, instead she jumped up from her place on Dimitri's bed, and almost pounced on him, desperately gluing her lips to his.

" This is not right! "He exclaimed aghast, pushing her away ." I don't want you like that Tasha. "He scolded.

The hurt evident on her face, soon turned into a mask of neutrality as she, simply turned, picked up her bag, stood in front of him, slapped him across the cheek, and left without a word.

 _*flashback ends*_

Moments later, he had recieved a message from Ivan informing him about the days events, specifically things related to and around Vasilissa.

Needless to say that lost was his sleep and peace, gone was his calm, the messy situation overruling all reason and he had headed to the gym to clear his mind.

RPOV

"Rose, wait." Ivan said, as I was about to enter the gym.

I was surprised at his interruption , since the last time he lost control, the man hadn't even been able to look me in the eye but here he was now, talking, to me.

Waiting for him to continue, I stared at him. Unable to find words, he left delivering advice or perhaps his orders, but the way he said, it looked like mere request.

"Please take it easy on him."

I knew what he meant the moment I entered the gym, to be greeted with the sight of a furious Dimitri beating the hell out of a punching bag.

Lost as he was he didn't see me enter.

"Good afternoon comrade!"I greeted, as he continued to work out without paying me much heed.

" That's rude don't you think. " I continued,recieving no reply.

" So, I assume I'm off training today? "I questioned." I'll be with Lissa. "

Heading towards the door, I was stopped by his words.

" Stay... Please... stay. "He said between breaths, panting. His hair matted to his forehead, wet as if he had recently showered.

It had been less than a week since we had been training, but I had already come to the conclusion that, it was hard for us to ignore what the other said, without a valid reason.And there generally was one.

XXXXX

That's all for now. Thanks for the support and all your kind words. Looks like the next update will be on this Wednesday, for I'm almost back to being me.

Have an amazing time ahead!

-Katnipsc. :)


	25. chapter 25

**_Go read the previous chapter first, if you haven't already. :)_**

Taking a few steps towards me, he stopped appearing conflicted, then stepping back he headed towards the benches, slumped down beside it, leaning against the wall, took out his water bottle from the bag and greedily chugged down gulps of water. When he stopped, he simply sat, all quiet, staring at everything and nothing in particular .

Never before had I seen him so conflicted, so in turmoil, so expressive. Sure his eyes had a hint of sorrow sometimes, sure was a ghost of satisfaction, but it was mostly determination that shone through.

Determination and perseverance.

This was different and unexpected. Everyone around, held him on this high pedestal, called him a god. But right here, in front of me was a a man, troubled, in distress, a mere mortal.

I wondered if he'd ever let anyone see him like this. So vulnerable, so worth pity , so broken.

It took me a moment to realize that we had been in each other's company for a while, simply being there, not speaking a word, just being present acting as a support. It surprisingly wasn't awkward, while I was embarrassed to realise that I had been gawking at him unashamedly for a while.

After a while he looked up, meeting my gaze, he nodded his head to the left, beckoning me to sit. The fact that I had awkwardly been standing in the middle of the gym, simply staring at him, caused warmth to seep into my neck.

Settling down facing him, I waited, for him to speak.

"Did you know about it?" He questioned, taking his time in forming each word.

"About Lissa?" I prompted.

"Yes... What do you know?" He said, in a way that made me doubt the genuineness of the things I knew.

"Well, those novices, handed Lissa the monthly journal and a part of it covered the interview with Mr and Mrs Dragomir who had worked hard to nurse their ill son, Andre, back to health. From what I know Andre and Lissa are good friends.Thus, I guess she had been devastated to hear of it and even so late." I stated, appearing as confident as I possibly could, trying to make my self believe my words, for in front of Belikov, and the look in his eyes crumbled my resolve.

" Would you mind me asking a question? "I added tentatively.

" That depends on the question. "He simply replied.

" Why don't you trust people?"His head snapped up at my question," I... I didn't mean it like that... Wha.. What I meant was like look, we've known each other for around two weeks, and have been working out for a little more than half a week. "

" Four days. Only four days. "He interjected.

" Yeah and I don't even know your full name. Just Belikov. "I stopped to observe the look on his face, unable to read it I continued," You must be a Belikov Something? Right? Like... Uh... Like... Belikov Jackson... Or Paige... Or perhaps a... "

" Rose. "He said calmly, interrupting my words.

" Yes, yeah exactly... Like Rose for... Rosemarie Hathaway,.. Shouldn't you be a Belikov something too? "I blabbered.

" What you told me about Lissa's case was incorrect. "He replied.

Him completely bypassing my question signalled that he wanted me to drop the topic, so I did.

" Would you tell me the truth?" I questioned him immediately, without realizing how closely, the question and the one before it were related.

Looking around the gym, he stood up picked up his bag, and headed towards the door, with a barely audible, "Follow me."

Ten minutes later, were reached an old rusted door, which he opened with utmost care urging me to enter, he lead the way.

To say that I was fearless at this point, would be a lie. I wondered if I had crossed a line.

I wondered if he'd lock me up here, for the trouble I was being to him.

I wondered if this was a place of torture .

To my utter surprise, the place I emerged in was one of the best, I'd ever seen. A huge bed covered with quilts that looked sewed by hand. Rugs on the floor, a sofa with multiple smaller pillows arranged on it, in a corner. Multiple lights illuminating parts of the rooms, the wall a mix of bright green and maroon. A small table by the bedside. A rack of books, and a cute little vase with a bundle of dried flowers placed in it.

The place was invitingly beautiful. Standing there, moments later I saw Belikov observe me take in the sight, he looked away as soon as he noticed my inquisitiveness, the thought struck me that this was his way of showing me that he trusted me.

Requesting me to take a seat, he placed his bag, beside the foot of the bed and made himself comfortable, fiddling around in the room.

"Lissa's actual name is Vasilissa Rhea Dragomir." He began moments after I had placed myself on the small sofa in the corner. It wasn't often that I saw one, much less an opportunity to sit on one, so in no way was I going to let this opportunity pass.

It took me a moment to comprehend the familiarity of the name, and when I did, I couldn't help but be surprised. My mouth kept opening and closing, and no words came out.

"Seeing your reaction , I assume that you are familiar with the name."

Unable to trust my voice,I simply noded in reply. Before I could add any more words, he continued.

"Lissa is Andre's sister."

Seconds later I had a rough caricature of the situation forming in my mind.

"Oh!"I uttered, inadequately expressing the surprise and shock, the utter sorrow and the thrill that ran through my body.

" Quite unlike the reaction I was expecting. " He said nonchalantly, placing himself on the floor beside the bed, it was become a peeve now.

"Well what had you been expecting?" I questioned, trying to channel arrogance in my voice, for he was getting to me, too much, for even my liking and it scared me.

I hoped to rile him up, to distance himself as he always did, but this time, he simply looked at me and after a while spoke in the softest of voices, almost melodious,

"Dimitri."


	26. chapter 26

"Dimitri", the word took quite an effort to be spoken.

I hadn't really realised the extent upto which I'd simply become Belikov, until this moment.

It had been years, three, perhaps even four, since I'd been identified as Dimitri . I hadn't kept a count.

Dimitri now, appeared to be a different man from a different time, with different ideals, with a set of morals far away from mine. A stranger, a past.

The mere name brought back a spectrum of not only memories but also a variety of emotions. Mama's voice uttering it with an ever present affection, Vika's voice uttering it with awe, everytime I helped her. Karo's annoyed scream when I swiped away a part of her desert. Babushka's authoritative call, Sonya's earpiercing scream complaining that I borrowed her books without permission.

Nostalgia struck me like a brick, as I stood frozen on spot. Unable to pay attention to Rose's reactions.

Little did I see her smile, her awe. By the time I gained control of the situation, Rose sat on the couch. All too quiet.

I guess she had been equally surprised at my revelation. I didn't know what caused me to make up my mind - was it her staying for me or simply being there in my distress? Was it her attitude that made me feel accepted or the unending jokes that she kept throwing my way just to lighten the mood around us?

She wasn't obligated to do anything but train with me, but she made an effort to keep the time interesting for our sake. She offered me my much needed space and respected my distance without prodding which was a blessing in disguise.

I never even realized when Rose's company had started becoming a solace for me. Our short training sessions, something I eagerly looked forward to.

Little did I realize that this little abnegation had wriggled her way into my divergent heart.

It wasn't right, I knew it, but something had changed today. We had established a trust, she had followed me without question and now carried the knowledge of my identity.

It felt liberating, to say it out loud and to hear her speak.

"Dimitri?!" She uttered softly, her voice as if a gentle caress, causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin.

"Dimitri." She iterated, as if testing the way it sounded coming from her, the way the word rolled off her tongue.

It was a precious moments of realization, I didn't know I had been craving, until I heard her speak. Besides Ivan and Adrian nobody really knew my name. I was Belikov to one and all.

But here she stood repeating it like. A prayer, making the name memorable, while I sat drinking in the memory, trying to etch this moment in my mind wishing that it never fade away. It was a moment I wanted to treasure.

Unawares, my mind conjured images of her in my arms, speaking the very words, while my head nestled in the crook of her neck placing soft kisses there.

"Your name is Belikov Dimitri?That's weird!" She said almost talking to herself, bringing me out of the reverie.

No sooner had she realized that the words had been spoken out loud, she went on the defensive, " not that it's weird, just different, and you know being different isn't really bad. It good, being different is fabulous, different from the common mass..." on realizing that she was nervously blabbering , I interrupted her monologue.

"Its okay. I'm Dimitri Belikov." I said calmly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." She apologised not meeting my gaze.

" No offence taken." I said politely, waiting for her to look up once again. The silence that reigned for the while was awkward, as we waited for the other to start.

Patience, I knew wasn't one of her strong suits, so it wasn't surprising when she perked up expressing her curiousity.

"So what now Dimitri? What are we going to do with Lissa's situation?... Was it this that had you riled up?... Can I help you in any way?.. Did you know about...?"

Question upon question paved way to the unknown, a plan simultaneously forming itself in my mind. Her voice soothing enough to calm my deranged mind and jangled nerves, leaving behind only tiredness and mild frustration.

I had lost a track of her words, thinking about the plan, and she had noticed it, and thus eagerly waited for me to elaborate. She understood, the twinkle in her eye, expressive enough for me o get her.

We were too easy a read for the other.

"I'll inform you later. For now I'll rest." I said, watching her visibly deflate, but soon gaining control of herself, she stood straight.

"Sure!" she exclaimed a with a bit of forced cheerfulness,"I'll see you later Cov-man!"

Before I could stop or question her, she sprinted out the door like a flash of lighting . And I turned to see my reflection smiling at me,from the mirror beside the bed.

' _Its finally time for bed.'_ I thought, seconds before plopping down on the mattress and losing myself to the darkness.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The darkness faded, as I opened my eyes, waking up from a restful slumber.

Entering the crowded common hall I was surprised to see the crowds gravitating towards a boards. Following the crowd, I saw the notice hung from the board informing in bold words.

' _ **Training from first half. Initiation begins next week.'**_


	27. chapter 27

A week had passed since the initiation began and I'd be lying if I said my ass wasn't getting kicked on occasion, the training with Dimitri had definitely helped in keeping my scores up but two weeks in training , I still needed to work on various things.

Throughout the week Dimitri had been taking pointers during my combats and had me working on them. The morning sessions had been increased by an hour, and later I took the training easy, upon his suggestion and then participated in the initiation.

Lying in bed, now, I couldn't help but feel that training this morning would be anything but pleasant. The first weekend since the initiation began, and my limbs hurt, muscles were sore and I couldn't help but groan at every step I took.

Getting up from the bed and getting to the gym simply felt like a great feat to achieve.

Cursing wasn't something I was still comfortable with, but in moments like this, I simply wanted to curse really loud.

The last night I had changed into my training clothes, keeping the morning in mind, thus all I needed to do was get out of bed, brush and then head to the gym.

What I had not expected was Alberta standing there in place of Dimitri.

"Good morning Rose!" She said a little too enthusiastically for my liking,nonetheless I stood up little straighter in her company.

Being aroud in the compound I'd gotten to know a lot about this woman and couldn't help but respect her.

Before I could ask about the absence of Dimitri, she automatically went on to state, "Leader Belikov is on leave for a mission, so the session has been cancelled for now."

Something in my expression made her chuckle.

"I'm sorry that you couldn't be informed earlier. Go back and rest initiate and I'd appreciate if you kept the information on Belikov to your self." She said, moments before patting my shoulder and leaving.

No sooner had she exited, I released a deep sigh, and instead of heading towards the dorm I looked for a quiet place to rest, tucking myself on one of the farthest benches in the corner of the gym, I gave into my tiredness, and let myself sink into the darkness.

DPOV

Light, it was a speck of light that grew bit by bit as I raced towards it. Reaching near the source I saw her standing there her back to me. Hurrying towards her I dreaded the sight that I'd witess.

I caught her as she fell, heaving sighs, she simply clutched her stomach as the light faded from her eyes but her face still had this ghost of her much adored smile.

A bloody hand rose to caress my face and the feel of her touch ghosted over my cheek as I sat up, drenched in sweat, but yet feeling cold.

The clock showed I'd slept for only an hour and a half, but before I could ponder over the moment, a text from Alberta informed me that I had places to be.

It was time to report to the head of the operation and I was to go this time.

Packing my bags, I left in no time. Better this than nothing, moving quietly I crossed in to the factioless section of the city.

But seeing two armed men stand at the door Guarding it in plain sight irked me.

He didn't really care. In no was this inconspicous, rather an open challenge.

Removing the hat, I revealed my identity and was immediately led through doors that led directly to the heads in net chambers. Not many were entertained here.

And If one was to die here, the person would just appear to have disappeared from the face of the planet altogether. He was that into things.

Knocking at the door I waited for his permission.

"How may I help you son? What do you have for me?"

-o-

Seeing her that way was heartbreaking, specifically having once known her fiery, and lively self. The girl who once, never backed down from an opportunity, lay all too still, all too quiet, and all for my inability, my fault. And she'd left me indebted. Waiting for her return, craving to hear from her, the rude remarks chirpy self, anything but this silence.

One trip every alternate month and I'd be drained for weeks from within.

It was late in the morning when I returned to the Dauntless compounds,knowing all too well that I'd missed the training with Rose this morning, yet foolishly moved to the gym, just ignorantly hoping that she'd be there. Just waiting for me.

Her mere company brought a much needed comfort.

Standing at the gym door, only to find it empty was disheartening,

' _You knew she'd not be here.'_ accused my mind, adding to the ever present melancholy, until I heard a soft groan.

Looking carefully, I saw a body, all bundled and curled up on the farthest of benches, and without beckoning a speck of hope began to flutter on the inside..

' _Was it her?'_

 _'Did she actually stay?'_

 _'Why was she here?'_

And then rationality started chiming in.

' _Why would anyone be here? Now?_

 _Sleeping? Why would..?'_

And all thoughts were lost as I saw her more sleepy than awake as she struggled to put her hands comfortably under her head.

Having nothing better, I shrugged my duster off my shoulders , folded it

evenly, placed it under her head, carefully and gently lifting it as not to disrupt her slumber.

She looked even younger when asleep, her face all peaceful and serene. Dark lashes as if almost brushing her cheek,brown hair in a messed up loose bun, locks spilling and caressing her face. She looked s innocent so beautiful.

' _Beautiful'_

That wasn't a way as to which I should be thinking of her. She would probably be my equal in the field in the near future, my colleague and was now under my care, only to learn.

' _What am I becoming? '_

It wasn't until this thought struck that I realized that I'd sit down right in front of the bench and had been staring at her.

' _creep'_ whispered my mind.

Getting up I moved to another corner of the gym. I could see her from here and that was all I'd allow myself.

' _Still a creep.'_ my mind taunted.

-o-

RPOV

Sitting up I stretched, both my hands spread as if I was about to fly. I probably could have, it felt good.

My limbs were still sore, and moving hurt, but I felt all well rested in a long time.

Recalling where I'd slept I was amazed as to not have a neck sprain, and talking of that, I noticed the makeshift pillow and the all too familiar scent I'd come to associate with it.

Looking around I saw his large frame leaning against the wall as he slept.

' _How tired he'd have been, to have been here, like this!'_ my inner self exclaimed.


	28. chapter 28

"Ooooh! Look who is up." said a someone I knew all too well, but it took a moment to recall as to what had happened.

"Brought you a packed meal from the cafeteria, comrade." She said while I was still trying to open my eyes to see properly. My duster was draped on my body, as I lay leaning against the wall.

' _That justifies the stiffness'_ I realized.

But what shocked me more was the fact that Rose looked different, more arranged and calm. I guess the rest had done her good. She looked collected.

Good thing we could work out a bit more now.

And she'd had enough time to probably take a bath and change her clothes.

' _How long had I been asleep?'_ You probably missed the breakfast, and definitely missed the lunch. Its four in the afternoon and I thought that you'd probably be hungry so here." She said passing the packed plate to me.

Astonished I was rendered speechless.

' _Why would she do this?'_ _She never had to. But she did._

 _'Thanks '_ was all I said, all the while coaxing myself to remember all that mama had taught me. It had been days, weeks perhaps years since people had acted towards me without a reason. This right here was just genuine friendship and I couldn't help the fluttering inside me.

Yet again that acceptance, an ease.

RPOV

Seeing him finish the meal made me realize that my decision to bring him the larger meal had been correct. He had completely ignored all meals of the day as of yet and now sat cleaning his plate to the last bit of soup and bread crumb.

' _Oh comrade!_ '

"So when do we begin practice today?" He questioned, appearing surprisingly calm, the hunger and tiredness wiped of his face in moments.

"Half an hour, what do you say?"

"Alright." He replied briefly, before swiftly standing up, packing his things and leaving the gym while I made my way to catch up with my friends.

Mason, and Eddie finding me protective of Lissa had now taken her in their league, as a result of which she was never alone and even Christian kept an eye on her.

She was priority and it was a topic on which Christian and I agreed.

But it was due to her that he sometimes made an effort at socializing.

Seeing them in the frontal patch of the compound waiting for the train to arrive, I recalled that they had plans to go to the city to do something fun.

And thus I tagged along.

"Hey Mase,... Liss,... Eddie, Christina, mind if I join you?" I said jogging towards them. Little did they notice Adrian, who had been following them not so subtly.

"Hop in." Eddie replied witha smile on his face and Mason remained stupefied in surprise for it had been over a week since we'd had proper and direct conversations.

I was the one to turn him down. Shut him out, but was now realizing that I had probably over reacted misreading the situation. Thus wanted to uphold our friendship and apologize for my out of place behaviour.

Grinning whole heartedly, it was easy to lose myself with this group, Christina had been the one to come up with the plan with Eddie, it was the first time we'd been out in a common place with people of all factions, since the initiation and I had expected it to feel different or weird.

Surprisingly it was none. It was just the same. What had changed was people's perception towards me, towards us.

The once scaredy abnegation was a scary Dauntless.

' _Atleast for now',_ my couldn't help but add.

Christian and Lissa were all chummy and stuck together much to everyone's amusement, specifically when they said that there was nothing going on between them and they were just friends, while Christina kept passing me amused glances, while all I did was smile and laugh shaking my head knowing about stuff all too well.

Lissa often talked about Christian as did he. But I didn't know if they were just trying to keep things low or actually this oblivious to the attraction between them.

It was in the central market place where I broke away from the from the group making an excuse of personal work. Mason looked worried but, Christina convinced him that it'd be all okay and off I went.

The excuse, meant exactly that for I wanted to feel the familiarity that was once known to me and part of my daily life. I walked down the very alley I had traversed atleast a million times till day.

The sight of the grey houses a welcoming relief to my eyes. An unexpected feeling swept over me, eyes filling up with tears as I almost ran to the place I once called home, only to find it locked.

She still went to work everyday. Anything had hardy changed.

I could almost cry at the moment but then I recalled as to why I'd made the choice I had made.

Putting my hand in my pocket, I felt the smooth surface of the stone, one of the many in my collection, that I carried around to keep me grounded, and set out on my worn out course, that led to the faction less section, breaking into a slight jog. Reliving the best moments I'd have.

All saw, dirt and not arranged surrounding, the misplaced things and people, wreakage, but amongst all of it lay a harmony, the feeling to coexist freely and communicate openly.

I had seen one factionless help the other even when they lacked in the basics of life.

I had seen a factionless mother still care for her toddler, while she starved.

Seen an old woman be helped by a kid, completely unrelated to her.

And these sights were heartwarming.

This serene moment lasted for mere minutes, before a man ran into me accidentally, tripping onto the rough path and falling, still staggered and struggled to get himself up and ran away, as if he was running for his life.

What piqued my interest was an Erudite woman, who urgently moved down the same path , the man had travelled , not moments later as I stood in the shadow, contemplating if I should follow.

Something seemed off and I just drove headfirst into the situation, trailing the suspicious woman who when caught up with the man, spoke something to him quite smugly that made him squeal before she simply slit his throat.

Placing him back on the ground oh so carefully, she turned around as I stood frozen at my place, it was when she noticed my stupefied form and advanced towards me, that years of habit kicked in, and knowing the region all too well, I ran, ran for my life was at stake and the familiarity did pay off.

I ran until I reached the rail track, eagerly for the train, and as it arrived I jumped on it, standing in the extreme corner hoping that I'd lost her. I had looked behind me eversince I began running and was now paranoid. With my back against the coach's wall, I sled down, and took a breath of relief.

But on closing my eyes all I saw were the lifeless eyes of the unknown victim staring back at me.


	29. chapter 29

Death was a weird cold thing, the first time I had encountered it, I was seven. A bird had died of some injury , it had breathed its last right in my hands, as I'd saved it falling from the sky.

I had been unable to eat anything for days, unable to look at my hands for weeks, fearing that I'd see its blood still on my hand.

Then I had seen a fish die in the school aquarium.

The similarity that both incidents held was, that they left me cold, chilled to the bone. It scared me, I couldn't comprehend things properly, couldn't feel things for days, it just chipped on my soul as if something in me fell comatose for days until something or someone challenged it to wake up.

The first time it had been my mum and and second, the girl to be punched by me, at school, it wasn't that I hadn't been called a stiff ever before, but that day I'd had enough .

The incident of the day had basically been a shock. Unexpected. Uninvited. Just happened. He was alive a moment, not the next as I stood helpless in the backdrop stunned to the shell.

The woman though I wondered what went on in her mind. Killing a human in such cold blood and not stopping to look twice at the corpse that lay all cold and still, was shocking.

I did not know when or how I reached the compound, one moment, I was on the train which seemed to last forever and then, there I was at the front entrance of the dauntless compound.

The next time I bothered taking in my surroundings, I found myself sitting at the high edge where Adrian and I had last spent hours, just enjoying each other's company, but now all seemed to weigh down upon me.

The moments stuck I'm my mind playing and replaying like and unending reel.

The man colliding into me, staggering away and then, whimpering, moments before his death. Those memories more haunting than the lifelessness of his eyes.

' _I could have saved him, I could have fought,... instead I ran.'_

 _'He could have lived to see another day had I just been brave enough.'_

 _'He would have wished that I save him.'_

 _'I failed to save him.'_

DPOV

I waited half an hour before I went looking for her. She was supposed to report at the gym for today's training. We were lacking time and she needed to work harder to keep her scores up. Things were at stake.

Enquiring from people, I came up with nothing, Ivan had no idea as well. It was on calling Adrian, I learnt that she'd been out with her friends and he was trailing them. This allowed me to calm down, as I retired to my room, called Alberta to provide her with updates regarding the mission. Hoping that she'd be interested in suggested changes and enhancement to be enforced in the plan.

By the time I was done with the briefing, it was only 8 pm. So deciding that it was safe for a while, I pushed my bed from over the tiles, removed, the loose tile from the floor and dug the box out.

' _Dear Dimka,_

 _How did you grow so tall, I need to know the secret. You know, I asked Karo but she said she doesn't know, but both of you are tall and I want to be tall too. You see, it'll be easier to tease Vika that way._

 _Does Olena add any specific serum in her meals to add to your height?_

 _And also that the..._

By the time I finished reading the letters, it was around 1 in the morning. I couldn't sleep. My world, my past playing right in front of my eyes.

Putting things back in place, I left my sanctuary,( hoping to find something in the cafeteria) , feeling a lot better than I had in days. While I wanted to cry, her words always had a way of cheering me up and I longed to hear them again sometime.

Eating whatever I could get, I decided to spend the night at the other room, cross checking details of the plan, but what I'd not expected was someone keeping an eye on my hidden spot.

I noticed their slight movement in my hindsight, carefully backing away, I decided to deal with them first. On reaching the place and expecting to find them gone or perhaps an ensuing chase, instead I met the person sitting curled up, quite near the edge, rocking back and forth in their position and just a moment later I realized who it was.

I was shocked. She was supposed to be with her friends. She was supposed to be having fun. She should have been asleep by now. How had she ended up here?

"Rose." I whispered.

"Rose." I said, trying to keep myself calm.

"Rosemarie."the continued silence irked me to no end . And her rocking didn't stop either. It was as if she wasn't even listening to me.

Tapping on her shoulder, I'd expect to get her attention, but she didn't react .

Kneeling down beside, I carefully, put both my hands on her shoulder, to stop her from rocking, she simply stopped without any resistance.

"Rose,.. Rose...". I shook her a little.

"Rose..." I almost pleaded. "Look at me, novice... Look up." No attention, my words were falling on deaf ears.

"Rose, can you please stand up?" I spoke neutrally, still no reply.

"What happened?" she didn't speak. "Is there something I must know?", no reply. "Did you see something?", "Did someone hurt you?"I guessed.

No reply at all.

"Lets get you some help." I said grabbing her hand, as I tried to get her to the infirmary, but she wouldn't move. Folding in upon herself she looked so small.

Noticing her shiver, I finally decided that it had been enough. "Infirmary now." I said picking her up, but the vigorous shake of her head surprised me. So far she had been all deaf and this whisper had drawn her attention like a magnet.

"You don't want to go to the infirmary?" I questioned and she shook her head, nuzzling it in my duster. "The dorms then?" At these words she started whimpering and unable to decide where to take her, I took her to my room. She had been here once, so it probably wouldn't shock her and moving away from the main compound building seemed to calm her down.

I had half a mind to let others know, perhaps call Alberta and Sonya to see what was wrong. But I couldn't call them here and taking Rose to my dorm room at this hour seemed like a bad idea, for there were members out on patrols and others that did roam about the corridoor at the late hours.

Setting her lightly on the bed, I noticed her shiver yet and covered her with blankets. When settled in, she resumed rocking back and forth with her head resting on her knees. The sight scaring me in a way, that I hadn't been for a long time. The last time I was this scared, I had lost her.

Shaking my head I tried to keep myself in the moment, taking up two packets of the chocolate mix, I set to make her hot chocolate. It often seemed to calm most people down.

Observing her, I wondered as to what could have happened. Multiple scenarios playing in my mind, none fitting. The horrific scenes playing through my mind, something I'd never wish upon anyone, not even an enemy, and just thinking of Rose suffering from any of it was too excruciating.

Gently setting the tray with the chocolate mug in front of her, I waited for her to atleast stop moving. Look up. Speak something. But no.

"Rose, please have some of this. Rose."

I said, stopping her by her shoulders.

"Please tell me what happened?"

"Rose, tell me." I begged. Just to hear a word from her.

Then, her rocking resumed and, I waited, waited for what felt like hours, occasionally calling out her name.

Finally, losing all my patience, I moved the mug, and sat in front of her.

"What do you want? What do I do?... Speak... Do something."

I tried to get her to stop moving and at it she looked up at me.

Just that action brought me relief and the next filled me with dread.

Her eyes that usually reflected the spark within her, filled with spirit and dancing with mischief, were rimmed in red, glistening with tears and dull. Oh so dull!

I don't know how long I stayed there that way, looking into her eyes. Hoping to see the spark return. Brushing stray locks from her face,looking for the missing thing I couldn't put my finger on.

I tried to move away on realizing how close we were, thinking that I was intruding her personal space, but she caught me by surprise by swiftly tugging me towards herself. Her lips upon mine.The swiftest and lightest of kisses on my lips. She held me close, looking at me, just staring and moments later, as if she'd read my mind, she tilted her head to the right and leaned in.

Enraptured as I was, I followed her suit, unwilling to move away. I met her halfway, my lips meeting hers with equal fervour, as we battled for superiority. My hand, moving to cup her face delicately as the other rubbed soothing circles on her neck. We took our sweet time, none willing to pull away and when we did, we rested our heads against the others, as she kept her eyes closed and I let my hands linger where they were.


	30. chapter 30

His eyes held gravity. Those deep brown depths, stirring something within . How had I not noticed them before, for now I couldn't look away. The black, the brown the gold, almost blended , yet didn't.

 _'How had I never noticed that eyes held such beauty!'_

Beauty I longed for, beauty I was ready to chase. The hollowness within craved for it, the coldness making me shiver, as I longed for warmth, that began pulling away, no sooner had I moved to examine it in detail and when he blinked the spell broke, yet I longed for more.

Grabbing him I brought him to me. Hand gripping his shirt, the other tangled in his hair.

And when my lips touched his, the gravity of the moment dawned upon me, yet the warmth that spread throughout my body was comforting.

I felt alive and already longed for more of it, but before it all, I wanted to look at him, see him and take him in, at the moment.

I saw him, his chin, his lips, his nose, the locks that lingered on his face and finally his eyes, mesmerizing the moment, calm as he, feeling as I was, I gave in to want.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I woke up feeling a bit too warm. Throwing the blankets that covered me I looked around the dark place, the incidents from before pouring into my mind causing a shiver to run up my spine, the soft touch on my shoulder, caused me to jump as I made frantic attempts to escape her!

A moment later the lights turned on and I saw Dimitri standing near the bed, looking mildly disheveled, worried and ( if I placed his expressions correctly) , slightly hurt.

"Rose its okay." He said.

His voice reminding me of what I'd done.

' _Oh no! What had I done!'_... _'He has a girlfriend.'_... _'I kissed him'_

 _'oh no no no!'_... _'He won't help me anymore!_

 _' What do I do?'_

Several voices promoting in my head as I stared I him blankly, an, " I'm sorry ", being the only coherent reply I could come up with,as I clumsily got up and decided to leave.

His hands grabbing mine, stopped me.

"I'm sorry", I said. "Please let me go.What ever happened last I was awake, was the weakness of the moment, combined with my silliness. Please forgive me. "

"Rose you are forgiven, I'm sorry too , but I didn't mean to bring that up. I need to know what happened yesterday. What did you see?" He stated in all sincerity, but there was something in his tone that felt like he was pleading more than stating.

The silence that followed seemed to weigh down upon me. Upon us. He looked worried too.

' _How did he even find me!'_

 _'How am I even here!'_

I could hardly recall those moments.

Just bits and pieces stuck, but apart from that, stuck the clear memory of the murder, and the tearing blank eyes of a dying man.

He gently pulled me back to the bed, made me sit, sat on the floor just in front and urged me to speak.

"It was an...an Erudite woman."I croaked, the scenes playing in my mind." ... She murdered a man..., killed him in cold blood... Killed him in front of me and I, I just stood there,... Frozen, struck, helpless..."

It was a while before I finished the story, and by the time I was done, Dimitri had this stone like expression on his face and I could hardly gauge his reaction at my revelations.

I had told him everything, all that I could could possibly recall and the details, described to the T.

I didn't realize how, but the moment I realized things had changed was when he stood up to console me, and I just hugged him, holding on to him for dear life. I was drifting away time and time again, carried away by this melancholy , and guilt and he was my anchor.

I knew I was not ready, knew that she would come for me, and knew that I had failed to help the man, who had hoped that I'd probably help him, and this knowledge scared me, it terrified me, it wrecked me on the inside.

Burrowing my head in his jacket, I cried, cried for all of it, the loss, my incapablity ,my cowardice, my foolishness, as he patiently stood, simply holding me, his words in a tongue unknown, cooing, soothing me, and his hands, patting my head calming me, the distinct pine like smell of his, comforting me.

The next time I woke up, the room was empty, and well arranged. The untouched cup of chocolate removed, the sheets on which Dimitri had previously been seated on the floor, neatly folded, hanging on the arm of the couch. A glass of water placed on the table beside the bed and a box with a note on it.

' _ **Please eat this. I'll be back soon. Please don't leave the place. I'll tell you all when I return.'**_

 _ **-DB.**_

The box contained a donut and two sandwiches.

Washing my face multiple times, and throughly rinsing my mouth with water. I tried to eat bits and pieces of the food in front of my, it was hard but I had to keep working, grow stronger, the next time, (which I hoped would arrive soon) , I was determined to face this adversary, confront her in the best way possible instead of running away. I was determined to help and stand up for the ones that needed help. I was determined not to be weak.

It was my responsibility to care for Lissa, but that didn't mean, I'd stop caring for, others.

Sitting alone it was now I realized, being dauntless wasn't about being fearless, it was more about challenging yourself to overcome this fear.


	31. chapter 31

"They are actively seeking them ,threatening them, killing them. Outright hunting them in broad daylight."

I stated calmly, aghast at the matter despite having known it for hours now.

"We need to take action." I added, trying to emphasize on the gravity of the matter on our hands.

"But , for the murder as you say happened the last day, no deaths have been reported so far. For all we have as proof is your words" Alberta suggests.

"We don't even have a witness to second your statement. Even the person isn't someone you recognize ." She adds somberly, coming up with no suggestions, helpless to the situation.

"How about we monitor events of the past days and keep our eyes open for unusual happenings?" Adrian suggests gulping from a small bottle.

"Why are you drinking during the day?" Ivan asks concerned.

"Things needed to be drowned." Adrian replies, wiping his mouth on the side of his sleeves.

Suddenly more focused, he looks at me smiling wickedly, making me realise that I'd have to tell him what actually happened, as Ivan catches up onto the silent conversation, I shake my head, there was no getting out of this with vague statements.

"We can do that atleast, and this needs to be reported. Expect an order by tomorrow evening." Alberta, concludes sincerely, dismissing the impromptu meeting, that had been called to update them on incidents happening .

"Atleast, it'll be on record now." Ivan said. "He wouldn't die a nowhere, from nowhere."

His words, I knew, echoed his greatest fear. Ivan's was that he would die anonymously and be lost to the world, his loved ones never knowing of what happened to him, and he'd be wiped off the image like he never existed.

He feared being forgotten and lost.

It was an occupational hazard, an unavoidable part of our duty.

-o-

He returned to the room an hour later, only to find it empty, his first thought - she'd been kidnapped, but that seemed highly unlikely the very next moment.

' _She probably returned to her dorm.'_ He thought.

 _' Perhaps. '_

And by the time the debate came to an end, she stood by the washroom door taking him in, her eyes wide, red and slightly swollen.

'She'd been crying again. '

His heart broke for her. Shrugging his duster, he hung it at the back of the door and sat on the couch, motioning for her to make herself comfortable.

"Would you like to eat something?" He questioned grasping at straws.

She looked at him, just stared and soon her eyebrows bunched up on her forehead as if she was trying to think hard or figure something out.

Had it not been in that situation, probably the reaction would have been adorable he concluded taking in her expression.

' _What are you even thinking about?'_ he questioned himself.

' _focus'_

As his inner monologue paused, he noticed her sit up, "what was it like for you?" She asked, in a voice so low that it was hardly audible.

"Pardon." He begged for her to repeat, wondering if she actually meant what hrd assumed, she did.

"What did you do when you first witnessed death?" She expressed elaborately.

There she said it, hid mind whipping back to days when a scared kid hid in the dark corners of broken remains and abandoned building, fearing that he'd not be able to see his family again or perhaps they'd not be there when he returned home that day.

The streets were a dangerous place while at night even more so, unspeakable things happed hidden in shadows, by the dumpsters, behind closed doors, even in brightly lit buildings, he knew things weren't safe, life was hazardous.

It was then he wished to be a part of the system, fancied about belonging to a faction, so his family could be safe and lead a comfortable life.

"It was unpleasant." He replied shortly.

"But that's not it." She prompted.

"It's not pleasant." he iterated.

"But I need to know." The mere words, her pleading tone, holding power enough as he launched into a tale he had never told anyone.

"It was a well dressed man from Amity, slightly drunk, walking down dingy factionless streets at night unaccompanied at that, bumped into a group of three men. Apologized, but for no apparent reason, they hit him. Beat him to pulp and then ran away. I saw all of it from behind a pillar, rushed to help the man, and he died with his head on my lap, a smile on his face, looking assured and content as if he owned the world. "

He stopped to take a breathe. The event though years old was fresh in his mind as if mere hours old.

" I still can't reason as to why he smiled, you know. "He said, finally looking in her direction only to realize that she sat next to him with his hand in hers as she looked at him somberly.

" He looked so content, so peaceful, it was astonishing, I had expected to see him cry, in pain, perhaps would have begged me to get medical help but he did not, simply sat me beside him, put his head on my lap and pretended to be sound asleep, just bleeding profusely while doing so. "An amused laugh escaped him.

" After that I returned home, pretended nothing had happened and carried on with day to day life. "He concluded, leaning against the couch.

Nodding, she simply got up and went to the bed, sitting down to face him.

Quiet as she was, he couldn't help but question," Aren't you curious as to why or how I was there? "

" No. " She replied biting her cheek. "It wasn't my business, I. Just wanted to know if anything could be related,... But you can tell me anytime if you feel like it." She added , almost on second thought.

He nodded, "perhaps a tale for the otheother day." He said with a small smile.

"What is it you wanted to tell me, in the note you remember?"she asked recalling the note, which securely hid on the inside of her jacket now.

She had perhaps asked a wrong question for she saw his face turn somber.

-o-

Hello my dear readers. I welcome you all to a very new year! May it be prosperous, happy, peaceful and productive for all of you. I'm thankful for all of your support. Tune in for the upcoming chapter the next week, and for a big revelation.

Greetings!!

-Katnipsc :)


	32. chapter 32

DPOV

Her words, a bucket of cold water. The matter had somewhat taken a backseat the past few hours, as I'd come to know of what she'd faced, but now that she'd mentioned it, it was unavoidable.

I was reeled back to the time when I'd first come to know of what was to happen to me.

 _"Do you think you can do it boy?" He asked_

 _"I can." I said._

 _"But what if you can't?" He pressed._

 _"I will." I had said._

 _"I have to", had been my thoughts._

 _It was an opportunity I wasn't ready to let go._

 _"Get me out!" My voice had echoed in my mind, as I'd begged to be set free from the prison that was my mind._

 _It had been a very different experience but had fuelled my determination, and I'd learnt to better the obstracle._

By the time I broke the awkward silence, Rose had become fidgety. "You don't need to say it if you don't want to. Its okay. I'll just forget it. Let it be." She said starting to get up.

Here was my opportunity to let it be. Here was a chance to keep her safe.

' _She could live without having known about it. She had a chance of making it.'_ I thought selfishly. ' _But what if she doesn't? She has the right as much as I did._ ' Added other voice in my mind.

The moment felt prolonged, but it was short too short, as I dashed from the couch and stopped her at the door.

"No!" I said a little too loudly. "You should know this." I said, pulling her towards the couch, as I sat beside her.

"But, be honest with me, no obsoletion of the truth no manipulative games, just the truth."

This drew her attention as I noticed her sit straight , her shoulders thrown back, straightening, it felt like she was readying herself for and argument...

"Comrade, I don't lie" , stated almost whining, and just at the moment I'd guessed, I had it coming this was her argument, her way of trying to get herself out of the situation.

Her lips forming a cute pout, and her blinking more than usual. She looked adorable and distracted as I waswas, the gleen in her eyes made me realize that she knew.

She was well aware of the effects her actions had on others and was perhaps intentionally playing on it, trying to distract me and evade the situation.That smallest of smirks on her face made me realize that though momentarily, she'd succeeded in fulfilling her motive, getting my guard up, I composed myself before bursting her bubble.

"That face won't help you avoid this situation." I said smiling being unable to keep my face straight, it was hard, for now the annoyed look on her face made her look cuter. ' _What are you even thinking! This is serious.'_ something voiced in my inner self, as I realized how grave it was. It was wrong to get carried away in the situation.

"What was the result of your aptitude test?" I questioned, seeing her eyes widen.

"It said Dauntless." She said all to quickly to ensure me of my doubts.

"The truth Rose." I pressed.

"It was Dauntless." She said, almost calmly dashing towards the door

"Was that really it? " I asked having blocked her way to the door.

"Tell me Rose?" I iterated. "Trust me once. Just this once."

She said nothing, just looked anywhere but at me.

"IT. WAS. DAUNTLESS." She stated boldly, sighing dramatically, "or else why would I even be here?" She said, pretending to be non chalant, but the slight tremble of her lips was a dead giveaway.

"I've looked into the tests and yours seemed to have a glitch, the results had to be entered manually, but it said abnegation." I stated sincerely.

My words seemed to have knocked the breathe out of her, and it was apparent as all blood from her face drained.

"What do you mean by looked into it?" She questioned aghast. "The results are kept private, not even included in the major database for security purposes. One cannot breach the protocols of security or would be subjected to jurisdictional investigation, the individual no longer protected by the laws of their faction, but that of only major laws, to be dealt with by the candors. "She said.

I was momentarily taken aback by the precise recitation of a work directly from the handbook. It was human instinct to fall back on the sole support or evidence one had and, that was what kicking in for Rose.

" Who are you? How are you here? Why are you doing this to me?" She asked desperately, taking gradual steps back,speaking almost as if blaming me, the words a mere murmur, making me loath myself all over again.

She looked at me all sincere, as her back hit the wall, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as I stood stunned,' _I didn't want this, I didn't want her to hurt because of me.'_

" Why are you asking when you already know?" She asked quietly.

"I want the truth and to confirm it, not from any other source but you." I answered, in all honesty.

"My results were inconclusive ." She mumbled, the words as if a physical burden for her to bear. Only now, we shared it. I hoped to ease things for her. I'd like to help her make it through this all.

"What did you qualify for?" I added, trying my hardest to not let the investigative side take on.

"Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless mainly." She said, catching me by surprise all together yet again.

"Do you know what we are called?" I questioned, hoping that she'd catch on and be relieved.

She said nothing and gave a firm nod, and later added in hushed tones. "Divergents."

And almost on second thought her head snapped up, "We?"


End file.
